


still looking at the road we never drove on

by klaineanummel



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Divorce, F/M, Future Fic, Happy Ending, Kurt is Dumb, M/M, Mason and Madison are Klaine's children, Reconciliation, Teacher Blaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 20:03:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 39,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5599075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klaineanummel/pseuds/klaineanummel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt Hummel’s life isn’t going how he planned. He just lost his job, his kids want nothing to do with him, and his husband just kicked him out and is filing for a divorce. If only he could go back and do it all over again...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Anniversary

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for the Klaine Advent challenge :) Each chapter title is the prompt for the chapter. If you've already read this on tumblr you may notice a couple of differences (though there aren't that many). I will be updating the fic on tumblr sometime soon. Hope you enjoy!!

Kurt isn’t exactly sure what the time is, but he knows it’s late. Past midnight at least. He turns onto his side on Finn’s uncomfortable guest mattress, then turns back onto his back, groaning. Considering Finn is a relatively wealthy man you’d think he could afford a better mattress for his guest room.

He stares up at the ceiling, wide awake. It’s been weeks since he’s been able to get to sleep before two in the morning. Ever since he’s been staying here, really.

Ever since Blaine kicked him out.

He turns onto his other side and pulls his pillow around his ears, as if that will block all thoughts of his soon-to-be ex-husband out of his mind. It doesn’t help. All Kurt can see is Blaine standing at the front door of their home (of _Blaine’s_ home), a suitcase in hand and tears in his eyes, telling him that he’ll send the rest of his stuff when Kurt finds a place to live.

“Why?” Kurt had asked. He hadn’t seen it coming at all. As far as he knew everything was perfect between them. His relationship with his kids, he knew that was a little rocky, but with Blaine? Everything was going wonderfully with Blaine.

“I’m tired of holding you back,” was how Blaine replied, though the way he said it didn’t sound sincere.

Kurt lets out a loud groan and flips back onto his back.

He should go to New York. That’s what he should do. He should show Blaine that this divorce was really a good thing for him. He’ll get a better job, get a better house, get better friends, and then he’ll get a better husband that doesn’t kick him out for no fucking reason.

He can’t go to New York. He has no money. Maybe if he’d gotten that promotion at work…

Frustrated, he reaches over to the night stand and turns on his phone. 1:23AM, November 9th.

November 9th.

That was the day he met Blaine.

He can still see that day clearly in his mind. Blaine rushing past him, Kurt reaching out to stop him, heart leaping right out of his chest when the most gorgeous guy in the world turned around, took his hand, and changed his life forever.

He doesn’t want to get a better house, or better friends, or a better husband. He wants _Blaine_. He just wants Blaine, he wants their old friends (who have all taken Blaine’s side), he wants their kids, he wants their house.

He wants to go to New York, though. He should have gone to New York. The life he could have had, with Blaine, in New York…

Unthinking, he opens his messaging app and sends Blaine a simple text.

 _Happy anniversary_.

There’s no response, but Kurt didn’t think there would be.

Blaine probably doesn’t even remember. Doesn’t even care that this is the day they met, the day that Kurt’s entire world turned upside down. Probably doesn’t care that Kurt gave up everything, _everything_ , to be with him. To make him happy. To support him while he pursued his little fever dream of being an English teacher, of all things.

Kurt closes his eyes, trying to fall asleep. He doesn’t. He’s angry. He can’t stop thinking about Blaine and the life they were supposed to have together, they life they could have had if Blaine hadn’t…

It plays in his mind like a movie.

_Chicago, 2012. National Show Choir Competition. Kurt had finally managed to convince Mr. Schue to give him a shot at a solo and it was going to be spectacular. Madame Thibodeaux, dean of NYADA, was going to be there. They’d tried to arrange an audition for him, but both found that this way worked best with their schedules. Not only was he going to win New Directions a National championship but he was also going to ensure himself a spot in New York’s most prestigious performing arts college._

_Then, thirty minutes before show-time, Blaine pulled him aside and blurted, “I don’t want to move to New York.”_

_Kurt stared at him, eyes wide and unblinking. “What?”_

_“I… I don’t want to go to New York. I didn’t know how to tell you, and I know this is probably a bad time, but it’s been eating me alive and I just… I had to tell you.”_

_“You… you don’t want to go to New York?” Kurt repeats, trying to make sense of the words. “But we… we’ve always planned to go to New York. Ever since we got together. We’ve been talking about this for years Blaine, how can you not want to-”_

_“I know, I’m sorry, it’s just. I don’t know, I love performing and everything, but it feels like that’s the only option New York holds for me and you know how I’ve been helping Mr. Schuester grade papers after school? I really enjoy it. I know it sounds stupid, but I like looking over student’s papers, making notes, helping them improve. I love feeling proud when I see they have improved. I want… I want to be a teacher.”_

_Kurt’s mind is still trying to process not wanting to go to New York, and he’s having a hard time keeping up with all the information Blaine keeps throwing at him._

_“You… you can be a teacher in New York,” Kurt tries, words coming out slowly._

_“Yeah, but I can be a teacher in Ohio for way less tuition, way less living expenses and… and maybe I could work at McKinley.”_

_“So, you… Hold on.” Kurt rubs his temples. “You want to stay in Ohio so you can stay at McKinley for the rest of your life?”_

_“I don’t know, maybe? I just know that for last few months my heart hasn’t really been in performing, and I can’t imagine doing it for the rest of my life. I just… I needed you to know. I don’t expect you to stay with me, because I know that New York is your destiny but… I just needed you to know.”_

_The worlds swirl around Kurt’s mind and he shakes his head. “I need to… I can’t be here right now. I’m sorry Blaine, I just need some air.”_

_The thought of Blaine not wanting to perform anymore is outrageous. He wants to give up New York with Kurt, their dream, so he can be a teacher? Kurt runs into a nearby washroom, heart pounding in his chest, trying to figure out what to do._

_Are they going to break up? Is that why Blaine told him now? He wants to break up in Chicago so there’ll be no bad memories in his precious Ohio?_

_He said he doesn’t expect Kurt to stay with him but… does he? Does he want Kurt to stay in Ohio? Is that why he told him? He’s about to perform for the dean of NYADA, but if he’s staying in Ohio…_

_Everything happens so fast. One minute he’s incredibly confused, and the next he’s making a split second decision. A decision that he would grow to regret for the rest of his life._

_He exits the bathroom and hurries to the green room. He finds Mercedes sitting in front of a mirror brushing her hair._

_“Mercedes,” he says, breathless. “Do you want my solo?”_

_“What?” Mercedes shoots to her feet, “What the hell, Kurt? That lady from NYADA is here, what are you talking about?”_

_“Just…” He runs a hand through his hair, heart beating like a drum in his chest. “I need to talk to Mr. Schue, but do you want it? If you don’t I’ll ask him to give it to Santana instead.”_

_Mercedes looks him over, an eyebrow raised. “Yeah, okay. I’ll take your solo. I know all the words and moves anyway. But why the hell-?”_

_“No time. Thanks,” he kisses her on the cheek and runs to find their teacher to tell them about the last minute switch-up. He’s confused, but he agrees, trusting Mercedes will know what to do._

_He tries to find Blaine before the performance starts but it’s no use. The next time he sees Blaine they’re standing side by side in the line-up backstage, and Blaine is whispering, “What are you doing here, Kurt? You’re supposed to be at the front, what are you-?”_

_The music starts and they’re live. They perform like their lives depend on it, and thankfully the rest of New Directions know better than to let their confusion at the sudden change in soloist show. Blaine is the only one who looks slightly distressed, but he still manages to put on a good show face._

_When they’re done, Blaine runs to him and asks, “What the hell, Kurt?!”_

_“Let’s stay in Ohio,” he replies, framing Blaine’s face with his hands. “Let’s stay in Ohio and go to OSU. I applied there as my back up anyway.”_

_“Kurt, what are you…?” Blaine still looks confused, but there’s tears in his eyes and Kurt can see his lips curving in the faintest hint of a smile._

_“I love you. You’re more important to me than… than New York, or being an actor. I love you, and I want to be with you, and if that means staying in Ohio-”_

_“God, Kurt,” Blaine throws himself at him and kisses him with all his might. It’s liberating and wonderful, and they’re still on stage for god’s sake but, dammit, it feels wonderful and like everything in the world is right._

In Finn’s guest bed, Kurt scoffs at his seventeen year old self. That guy was such a fucking idiot. He and Blaine totally could have made a long distance relationship work. They could have lasted through all of university, and then Blaine would have realized that he could be a teacher fucking anywhere and moved to New York so they could be together. Kurt didn’t have to throw everything away for a man who couldn’t even be bothered to stay with him forever.

Kurt shakes his head at his seventeen year old self and turns onto his side, once again shutting his eyes.

He doesn’t fall asleep, but it doesn’t matter. It’s not like he has anywhere to be in the morning anyway.


	2. Broadway

When Kurt wakes up it’s twenty minutes after two in the afternoon and he has absolutely no desire to get out of bed. Still, his back aches from the lumpy mattress, and he’s already slept in far too late, so he gets up and resolves to get ready for the day.

By the time he’s done it’s quarter to three and he’s starting to feel hungry. He heads downstairs, making sure to step down extra hard on each stair so that Finn will know that he’s awake and in a petulant mood.

Finn is already in the kitchen preparing a late lunch when he walks in. “Hey,” he greets. “I’m making pasta.”

“Pasta for breakfast. Delicious.”

Finn snorts. “It wouldn’t be pasta for breakfast if you got up at a normal time.”

“I would if I could fall asleep at a normal time,” Kurt says, sitting down at the island bar and burying his face in his hands.

“Or if you had a reason to get up,” Finn says, and Kurt moves one finger aside so he can see his stepbrother. “You know I can get you a job as a manager at the garage in town. Bailey just quit because she and her wife are moving to Wisconsin to be closer to her parents. Just say the word and the job is yours.”

“I know,” Kurt grumbles. He shakes his head from behind his hands. “I don’t think I can take that job Finn. It took me years to get a job outside of that garage. I don’t want to be stuck there again.” Finn places a cup of coffee in front of him, and Kurt smiles his thanks. “I might go to New York.”

Finn doesn’t respond at first, turning his back to Kurt and stirring the pasta in the pot.

“What about Blaine?” he finally asks. “And the twins?”

“Madison and Mason hate me,” Kurt says, trying to keep his tone glib but failing as the harsh reality of the truths set in. “And Blaine asked for a fucking divorce, so whatever.”

“They don’t hate you,” Finn instantly says. “I bet if you put a real effort into spending time with them and getting to know them that they’d warm right up to you.”

Kurt shakes his head again. “Yeah, right. Every time I try and hang out with them they just roll their eyes a lot and give me short answers. I didn’t even know they were on the cheerleading squad until months after their first competition.” He sighs. “I’m sure they’d be happy if I moved far away.”

Finn is quiet for a while, moving the pasta from the pot to the colander. He takes a jar of sauce out of the fridge and pours it in a pan.

“What would you even do in New York?” he asks, finally.

Kurt shrugs and takes a sip of his coffee. “Audition for stuff, I guess. Try and get my life back on track.”

Finn turns to him, face scrunched in confusion. “What track, exactly?”

“Performing. Broadway. That’s always been my dream.”

“I don’t know, Kurt,” Finn shakes his head and turns back to the pasta sauce. “You’re almost forty. You’ve got kids in high school.”

“So? I’m not allowed to be on Broadway because I’m not twenty and fresh out of NYADA?” he scoffs. “You know, George Takei was seventy-eight when he had his Broadway debut.”

“Yeah, but you’ve been selling cars for the past ten years, and before that you fixed cars. George Takei was like, on the most famous show in the world.”

“Okay, but the point is that it’s never too late. I can still get things back to how they’re supposed to go I just need to… I don’t know. I need to not be in Ohio anymore. Ohio is where everything went wrong.”

“So, what, are you going to fly Mason and Madison out to New York every two weeks, or what? How is joint custody going to work if you’re so far away?”

Kurt shrugs. “They’re old enough to decide where they want to live. They can just come visit me in the summer or whatever.”

Finn snorts. “And you wonder why they don’t like you.”

“Hey, watch it. I’m in a very fragile emotional state.”

“And you think going to New York is going to change that?” Finn sasses, shooting him the most skeptical look Kurt’s ever seen on him.

“I think it just might. New York was always my dream, but I gave it up to be with Blaine. Now Blaine doesn’t want to be with _me_ , so there we go. Problem solved.”

Finn purses his lips together as he pours the pasta into two bowls and then the sauce over it.

“Have you ever thought that the fact that you saw your husband as a ‘problem’ may have led to this situation?”

Kurt scoffs. “Blaine has never been the problem. If it were up to me we’d still be together. I love Blaine. The problem has always been that Blaine refuses to leave this stupid state. God knows why he loves it here so much.”

“He has his job, all his friends…”

“He’s a _teacher_ , Finn. An English teacher, for that matter. He can do that anywhere, it’s not like it’s a high demand job.”

Finn frowns. “He’s a good teacher, though. You know Mrs. Hayward, who always comes to the shop? Her daughter has had Blaine for three years now and she says he’s the best teacher she’s ever had.”

“Then he can be the best teacher in New York!” Kurt points to himself. “I just don’t get why I had to sacrifice all of my dreams so that he could teach kids how to conjugate verbs. He can be a teacher in New York, but I can’t be on Broadway in Ohio.”

Finn doesn’t reply, instead focusing on eating several spoonfuls of pasta.

When he does speak, it’s to change the subject. “So what are you planning on doing today?”

Kurt shrugs, a little miffed at Finn’s dismissal. “I don’t know. This?”

Finn glances at the digital clock above the oven and says, “Don’t the twins get out of school soon? You could try and spend some time with them.”

“Finn, they hate me.”

“No, they’re just distant from you. You just have to get a little closer and they’ll be back to begging you to sing to them every night before bed in no time.”

“They haven’t wanted that since they were ten,” Kurt glances at the clock, then at his pasta. “But what the hell. It’s not like I have anything to lose. Besides, this way I might run into Blaine. I haven’t seen him in almost two weeks.” The _I miss him_ goes unsaid, but he thinks Finn understands.

“Alright,” Finn pats him on the back. “But eat your pasta before you go. I worked hard on it.”

Kurt smiles at him and shakes his head fondly. Okay, so Finn may not be as on his side as he’d like him to be, but whatever. He just has Kurt’s best interest at heart. What he doesn’t seem to realize is that Kurt’s best interest is to fix his relationship with Blaine, get his kids to tolerate him again, and then pack them all up and move them to New York where he can finally make his dreams come true.

He finishes his pasta, thanks Finn, and heads out. It’s been a while since he went to McKinley, so if anything it’ll be interesting to see what’s become of the school. Plus if he can see Blaine…

He grabs his car keys and walks out the door.


	3. Competition

McKinley High looks exactly the way that Kurt left it. He parks his car as close to the entrance as he can and heads in, trying to remember how to navigate the place.

He hasn’t been here in so long. He thinks the last faculty event he attended with Blaine was… three, maybe four years ago? He attended them at first, but after a while it started to feel depressing. All it did was remind Kurt that he was still in Bumblefuck, Ohio, instead of on a Broadway stage. Instead he would spend those nights alone in his room, watching Barbra Streisand movies and drinking a little too much wine.

Now that he thinks about it, Blaine was always a little touchy after those nights, but within a couple of days things always went back to normal. That was the thing about his relationship with Blaine, that even when they had their biggest blow-out fights they always went back to normal. He was sure they would keep going back to normal for the rest of their lives.

Not anymore, if the meeting they have with a divorce attorney the next day has anything to say about it.

Without realizing it he finds himself heading toward the old choir room. He glances into any open doors he finds along the way, hoping to catch a glance of Blaine. It would be the first time he’s seen him in weeks and he’s desperate for even a short look.

By the time he reaches the choir room he hasn’t seen his husband. Kurt glances into the choir room thinking that maybe Blaine has been secretly directing the New Directions without telling him, but it looks like it’s an older man standing in front of the class. He sighs, letting his eyes wander to the students and his jaw drops.

Mason and Madison are sitting in the front row, in perfect matching cheerleader uniforms.

His kids joined his old glee club and they hadn’t even bothered to tell him.

He backs away, feeling like he’s been punched in the stomach. First Cheerios and now this? Did they really want him out of their lives that badly? Or is he really just that disconnected from them?

His back hits a cool wall and he turns to see what he’s run into. It’s a glass display case with several large trophies inside and a couple of pictures of the New Directions throughout the years.

Right in the middle is the picture of New Directions in Chicago, right after their performance at Nationals. Everyone is hugging and cheering, except for Kurt and Blaine, who are engaged in a passionate kiss at the edge of the stage. Kurt scoffs at the way their younger selves are holding each other, completely unaware that their lives are going nowhere. Hell, Blaine still seems to be unaware of that. He shakes his head. So stupid. So naïve.

“That you in there?” a voice says to his right, and he jumps in shock. He turns and sees an [older woman](http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/glee/images/b/b3/Lilian_Adler_2.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20110201235738) wearing a janitor’s uniform standing next to a mop bucket. She points a finger at the picture Kurt’s been looking at and Kurt nods.

“Yeah. I’m the one kissing the guy in the back,” he rolls his eyes.

She nods. “High school sweetheart?”

“Turned husband, turned soon-to-be-ex-husband,” Kurt says, shaking his head.

“Ouch,” she clucks her tongue and shakes her head sympathetically. “It’s too bad life can’t always be like high school, huh?”

“Yeah,” Kurt snorts. “You know, if I could go back… God, I would change so much.” He turns to the picture and doesn’t catch the way her lips curve up.

“It’d be nice, wouldn’t it? To get a second chance.”

“If I could just change that one decision,” he whispers wistfully, eyes going back to the picture.

“And you’d want that? Go back to high school, change your future by changing your past?”

“It would sure as hell give me a better future,” he says quietly.

“And you’re sure that’s something you want?”

“Oh yeah,” he says, a bit louder this time. He thinks on what might have happened if he’d just sang his damn solo. NYADA would have accepted him. He would have gotten a college education instead of wasting his time fixing cars and later selling them. He could have been on Broadway. He could have won a Tony. He and Blaine wouldn’t be getting a divorce. His kids might actually like him, maybe even look up to him. Everything would have been better if he’d just _sung the damn solo_.

“Alright,” the woman says, though Kurt barely hears her over the sound of the bell ringing to announce the end of class. He stares at the picture a little bit longer, still thinking of what could have been. If only he could go back and shake his seventeen year old self for being so stupid…

“Dad?” he turns around completely and sees Mason and Madison standing just outside the choir room, hands on their backpack straps. “What are you doing here?”

“I was just talking to,” he goes to point to the janitor but she’s gone. He frowns and looks around. “No-one,” he finishes lamely.

“No, like, what are you doing _here_?” Madison asks, walking toward him. “At school.”

“I thought I’d come pick you guys up,” he says, glancing at Mason who is looking longingly at a girl walking away from them down the hall. “Take you out for a late lunch.”

“Why?” Madison asks, arms crossed in front of her chest.

“Do I need a reason to hang out with my two favorite kids?”

The twins exchange a glance, then Madison rolls her eyes. “We’re getting Olive Garden.”

“Sounds great,” Kurt says, grinning. “Shall we go?”

They shrug and start walking ahead of him. Kurt takes a quick look around to see if he can catch a glimpse of the mysterious janitor, but she seems to have completely disappeared. Shaking his head, he looks up to see his kids almost at the other end of the hallway. He hurries to catch up to them, wondering if this was really such a good idea after all.


	4. Day

Eating out with his kids goes about as well as he expected it to. Mason spends the entire time glued to his phone and Madison rolls her eyes exactly twenty-three times (he counts).

The twins only order dessert and absolutely refused to engage him in any manner of conversation. When he asks why they hadn’t told him they’d joined glee club Madison simply says, “Oh, we thought we did,” and that’s the end of that.

By the time he’s pulling into his old driveway he feels emotionally exhausted. The twins both insist on sitting in the backseat (and god, he can remember how they would fight for the front seat as soon as they were old enough to) and put their earphones in as soon as he turns the car on.

**

There’s a couple of boxes on the sidewalk in front of his and Blaine’s ( _no, just Blaine’s_ ) house, and he frowns as he pulls in behind Blaine’s car. The kids are out of the car like a shot, disappearing into the house as fast as they can.

“Okay, nice talking to you,” he calls after them, forcing a smile and waving goodbye. The door slams shut behind them without a response, and Kurt sighs. His kids really do hate him.

Someone grunts, and Kurt turns to see Blaine placing another box on top of the two already on the sidewalk. Despite the ache in his heart over the terrible hour he just spent with his kids he still can’t help but feel a little lighter as he watches his husband straighten up and clap his hands together to dust them off.

He looks amazing. He’s wearing one of his traditional Teacher Outfits, a solid sweater vest over a plaid shirt, long sleeved due to the colder weather now that it’s November, khakis, loafers, and an adorable bowtie with pencils printed on it.

“Hey,” Kurt says, heading over to where Blaine is standing. His husband glances at him briefly, but almost instantly looks away.

“Oh, good, you’re here,” he says, eyes on the boxes in front of him. “I packed up the rest of your stuff. There’s just one more box, so I think it should all fit in your car.”

Kurt’s heart drops to the floor. “Wait,” he gestures to the boxes. “This is my stuff?”

“Well, I can’t keep it here anymore. It’s taking up too much space.”

“It’s taking up the exact same space as when I lived here, and it’s going to take up the exact same space when I-” he stops himself from finishing that sentence, pursing his lips together. Seeing Blaine for the first time in a couple of weeks seems to have destroyed his brain to mouth filter.

“When you what?” Blaine asks, raising his eyebrows and placing his hands on his hips.

“Nothing,” Kurt says, trying not to notice how snug that shirt is on Blaine. He wonders if he’s been working out.

“When you move back in?” Blaine prompts.

“No, that’s not what I was going to say,” Kurt tries, but it sounds weak even to his own ears.

“Because I hope you know that is never going to happen,” Blaine continues, eyes now boring deeply into Kurt’s. “Our divorce is going to be finalized before Christmas.”

“Right, I know that.”

“And I’m not taking you back,” Blaine continues, though he isn’t looking at Kurt anymore. “I’m not dealing with your eternal pity party anymore Kurt, I’m just not.”

At that Kurt’s eyebrows fly to the top of his forehead and he practically shouts, “Excuse me? My eternal pity party?”

“Yeah, your eternal pity party,” Blaine replies, rolling his eyes. “Remember last Christmas when the electricity went out and all you could talk about was how if we lived in New York we could just go walk around downtown and be completely immersed in culture instead of sitting at home in the dark?”

“Well, I had a point.”

“Or how about when we adopted the twins and you spent three whole weeks looking at all the high end private schools we could have afforded to send them to if you had been a famous actor on Broadway? Or when your dad gave the garage to Finn instead of you, and you spent almost a month talking about how it wouldn’t have even mattered if you’d just been in New York because you could have been on stage every night instead of destroying your skin by covering it in oil day in and day out?”

“Okay, I get it,” Kurt takes a step closer to Blaine, frustration crawling through his body. “But what’s so wrong with complaining every now and then? I am extremely disappointed with my life, and if we had just-”

“I never asked you to stay in Ohio with me!” Blaine shouts, throwing his hands in the air.

“Yeah, but I _did_ ,” Kurt snaps. Blaine stares at him, breathing heavily. He shakes his head and looks away.

“Well you don’t have to do me anymore favors,” he says, and Kurt can sense from the warble in his voice that he’s about to cry. “I’m not holding you back anymore, remember?”

Kurt sighs, guilt creeping into his gut. “Bee, come on…”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? At the thing, with the lawyers?” Blaine looks at him, tears glistening in his eyes, and Kurt feels like he just kicked a puppy.

“Bee, don’t do this. We don’t have to do this, we can still get our life on track. The kids are graduating next year, it’s not too late to-”

Blaine shakes his head and starts to walk toward the house. “Goodbye, Kurt.”

He disappears into the house just as the kids had, and Kurt is left standing on the sidewalk alone with his belongings.

A drop of rain hits him on the nose, and he looks up at the sky to see it clouding over. Not wanting to ruin whatever is in the boxes, he quickly packs them into his car and heads out.

**

It’s pouring by the time he’s halfway to Finn’s house. His windshield wipers are going a mile a minute and he’s still having difficulty seeing through the rain. He leans forward, straining his eyes as he tries to see the road in front of him.

His eyes widen as he notices a figure standing on top of the railing on the other side of the road. He pulls over without thinking and gets out of the car.

“Hey,” he shouts. “Hey, are you okay?”

The figure turns around and Kurt recognizes the woman from earlier that day. She smiles at him through the rain and Kurt’s heart speeds up.

“You,” he whispers, then louder, “Hey, why don’t you just come down from there?” He knows where they are, knows that beyond the railing is a twenty foot drop into the river, and knows the water must be incredibly tumultuous with the weather as it is. “We can talk for a little bit, I’ll buy you coffee.”

She just smiles wider and waves a little bit. Kurt takes a step forward, but instantly jumps back when a large truck drives in front of him, honking at him to get out of the way.

When it’s gone, so is the woman.

“Oh no,” Kurt says to himself, then looks both ways and runs across the road to where the woman was a minute ago.

He leans over the railing and sees nothing but black water beneath him. He tries to look harder, adrenaline and fear coursing through his body, but he can’t see the woman anywhere.

Thunder goes off in the background and the water becomes more tempestuous as he continues to look. Kurt wonders if perhaps he’s losing his mind because it… it looks like a whirlpool is forming in the river. He leans over a little more, trying to catch sight of the woman inside the whirlpool, but all he sees is…

A boy. Or, the image of a boy. Seventeen, maybe eighteen, reaching a hand out and –

Kurt reaches out on instinct, feeling something familiar about the boy in the water. Within seconds he’s lost his footing and lets out a loud scream as he falls over the railing.

The second his body hits the cold water he blacks out.


	5. Escape

Kurt wakes up in the back seat of his car covered in mud. The last thing he remembers is… leaving his house? No, Blaine’s house. Blaine told him they’re never fixing their relationship. Blaine gave him the rest of his things right after Mason and Madison proved they want nothing to do with him. His family is done with him.

He just wants to crawl into bed and sleep for ten years. As if in a trance he moves to the driver seat and starts the car, beginning the short ride to Finn’s house. He drives on autopilot, chest hollow. It’s like a fog has descended over his mind and he cannot wait to get to Finn’s house, take a shower, and spend the rest of the day in bed.

He makes it to Finn’s house in one piece and exits with his head down. He can see the mud covering his shoes, but doesn’t stop to think about it. Maybe he went out drinking after his encounter with Blaine and ended up falling into a puddle. He thinks it was starting to rain when he left Blaine’s house.

Finn’s house is quiet as he trudges up the stairs and into the bathroom, stripping out of his dirty clothes, tossing them in the hamper, and stepping into the shower. He doesn’t spend as much time as he usually would in here, simply making sure all the mud has been removed from his skin. His bed is calling to him and he does not intend to keep it waiting.

Once he’s finished showering he grabs a towel and heads to the guest room. The mattress may be lumpy, but the duvet is warm and the comfort it provides is real.

He pulls on his comfiest t-shirt and sweats, then takes a second to pause and look at the broken man he has become in the mirror.

A shrill scream escapes his lips the seconds he looks at himself.

Because that, staring back at him in the mirror, screaming in horror, isn’t him. It hasn’t been him for twenty years.

He screams again and backs away, tripping over one of his slippers and falling to the ground. He catches himself on his hands, smoother hands, not a wrinkle in sight. He stands up quicker, body spritelier. He places his hands on his stomach, leaner than it’s been in years. His eyes fly back to the mirror and he hurries toward it, hands instantly going to his face.

“Holy shit,” he whispers. He touches his face and the person in the mirror touches their face. Which should be impossible considering Kurt turned thirty-eight in May and the person in the mirror can’t be older than seventeen.

“No way,” he says. Even his voice is higher pitched. This is… this is real. This is happening. He puts his hand on his shoulder, runs his hand through his hair. The person in the mirror does the same thing.

He’s seventeen.

Holy shit.

He’s seventeen.

Something moves behind him and he looks over his shoulder to see Finn standing behind him holding a baseball bat.

“Finn?” he asks, turning around completely. “Holy shit, you would not believe what is happening to me-”

“Get out,” Finn says, hands gripping the baseball bat tightly.

“What?”

“I said get out, before I call the cops.”

“Finn, it’s me,” Kurt says, hands going to his chest (and wow, that’s flatter too, and far more built. He’d forgotten in what great shape he was in at seventeen). “It’s Kurt, your brother.”

“This isn’t a game, weirdo,” Finn says, advancing. “Either get the fuck out or I’m calling the cops. And if I found out you stole anything…”

“Finn, I swear to god it’s Kurt. I – something happened to me, I don’t know, but I woke up like this and I don’t know what to do-”

Finn raises the bat. “I said _get out_.”

“Whoa,” Kurt holds his hands up. “Finn, I’m telling the truth, I’m Kurt.”

“Kurt is almost forty, but nice try. Now, seriously, get out.” He takes out his phone with one hand, the other still holding the bat up. “I’m not kidding.”

“Neither am I!” Kurt tries, almost frantically. “It’s me, it’s Kurt, I swear to god, I can _prove_ it.”

“I’m dialling,” Finn says, and Kurt scrambles to the other side of the room, looking for the picture he knows Finn put up on his dresser the day he moved in. He finds it and holds it out for Finn to see.

“Look,” he says, finger pointing at himself standing next to Finn in matching graduation robes. “See, it’s me, I swear, I know I look young again, but-”

“Holy shit,” there’s a loud clang as the baseball bat drops to the floor and the picture is snatched out of his hands. Finn holds the picture up to Kurt’s face and his eyes become as big as saucers. “Holy shit, Kurt? What the fuck?!”

“I don’t know!” Kurt throws his hands in the air. “I don’t know, I was at Blaine’s house and I left and when I woke up I was like _this_ and I-”

Suddenly it comes back to him. The rain, the road, the janitor, falling into the river…

“The janitor,” Kurt whispers. Then, louder, “The janitor, Finn! She did this, she asked me if I would want a re-do of my life and then she turned me into _this_ and-” he brushes past Finn as he runs out. “I have to find her.”

“Hey, whoa, where are you going?”

“To the high school,” Kurt says, hurrying down the stairs. “I have to find the janitor, I have to ask her to explain, she needs to _explain-_ ”

“Kurt, hey, you’re probably in shock right now. Hell, I’m in shock right now. Are you sure you should be going anywhere?”

“Yes, because I need to _know_ , Finn. I have to know!”

He grabs his car keys and runs out the door, hurrying to escape Finn’s questions. He has a thousand questions and he’s going to get answers. He has to get answers.

**

It must be lunch time when he arrives at the school because there are kids milling around the building. He gets a couple of funny looks as he parks his car in front of the entrance to the school and bolts inside, most likely due to his only wearing a t-shirt, sweatpants, and socks in November. He doesn’t care. He needs to find the janitor and he needs to find her _now_.

As soon as he’s inside he starts asking every student who passes him if they’ve seen the janitor. Most people shrug him off or look at him like he’s crazy, but a couple just tell him no or point him in the direction of the janitor closet.

The bell rings and he starts to feel frantic. He stops kids on their way to class, practically shouting, “Have you seen the janitor?” in their faces.

Finally he catches sight of a woman in a similar uniform and he runs up to her. “Excuse me, ma’am?”

She turns around and it’s… it’s not the woman from the day before. It’s definitely not the woman from the day before. “Yes?”

“Sorry, I just. I’m looking for another janitor. She’s shorter, older?”

“Sorry, kid. I’m the only female janitor here, and all the other janitors work at night.”

“No, it can’t be,” Kurt shakes his head. “I was talking to her yesterday, I swear I was.” He looks around frantically as the hallway starts to empty. “I swear I saw her, it was just _yesterday_.”

“Sorry,” she says, looking sympathetic. She starts to walk away and Kurt feels lost. The hallway is completely empty soon enough and he’s standing there like an idiot not even wearing shoes.

His feet become wet, and he looks down to find himself standing in a puddle, feet soaked. He glances around, but he’s still alone. He moves out of the puddle, then notices another one a couple of feet away.

Frowning, he goes to the next puddle. As soon as he’s there he sees another a bit further. He continues to follow the trail of puddles, each of which seems to disappear as soon as he’s reached it.

He’s so immersed in his treasure trail that he almost runs head first into a wall. He reels back, surprised, and his heart skips a beat when he sees what is in front of him.

A sign-up sheet.

For New Directions.

It’s like a lightbulb appears over his head and a smile lights up his face.

He knows why this happened to him.


	6. Fan & Guide

When Kurt returns to Finn’s house, running into the kitchen in search of his brother, excited to share his breakthrough, he is greeted with a, “Dude, I found something.”

Kurt skids to a stop and pulls himself together far faster than he could when he was thirty-eight (or, his body was thirty-eight?).

“Me too,” he says, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Me first,” Finn says, turning his laptop screen toward Kurt. “See? I figured out what happened to you!”

Kurt squints at the page. As far as he can tell it’s a fan run website talking about a theory on some episode of a sci-fi show he’s never bothered to watch. He thinks he’s seen Blaine watch it a couple of times when Sam was over, though.

“What the hell is this?” Kurt asks. “What does this have to do with what happened to me?”

“It describes exactly what happened to you!” Finn says, turning the computer back to himself. “Listen. ‘On his road to self-discovery, Montgomery is transformed back into his twenty-two year old self by his spirit guide in order to lead him on his true path’. Then it talks a bit about theories on who Montgomery’s spirit guide is, but see!”

“That isn’t at all what happened to me.”

“Uh, yes, it is. You’re on a road to self-discovery – guys getting a divorce always are – and your spirit guide transformed you back into your high school self to help you along the way.”

Kurt stares at Finn for a few seconds, at how he’s smiling that dopey smile of his, and knows even if he argues he won’t win. “Whatever,” he eventually says. “Either way, I know why the janitor made me seventeen again!”

“Your spirit guide,” Finn corrects.

“Yeah, my spirit guide, whatever. The point is I know what I have to do: I’m going back to high school!”

Finn’s smile drops instantly. “You can’t be serious.”

“This way I can do everything over again, but I’ll do it right! I’ll re-apply to NYADA, I’ll get a solo at Nationals, and I’ll finally get to live the life I always wanted!”

“But what about Blaine? The kids?”

“I’ll be closer to them than ever!” Kurt says, starting to get really excited about this. “I’ll join glee club so I can befriend Mason and Madison, and, I don’t know, I’ll flunk English so that Blaine has to tutor me after school or something.” He can already see it all playing out. Blaine will fall in love with him all over again, his kids won’t hate him anymore, and once Blaine sees how bright Kurt’s future is he’ll finally agree to drop the divorce and move out to New York, for good. Yes, high school is definitely where he’s supposed to be.

“I don’t know, Kurt,” Finn says. “How are you even going to pull this off? All of your records say you graduated from McKinley back in 2012, and you can’t just ask Burt to pretend for you. Seeing you like this would probably give him another heart attack.”

“That’s true,” Kurt says, tapping his finger against his chin. “We could falsify my records? Don’t you have some high-up IT guy who always gets his car done at the garage in Columbus?”

“Yeah, but… Kurt, that’s all kinds of illegal.”

Kurt raises an eyebrow. “So was that copy of Halo you got from the guy in Manhattan after giving his car the works for free.”

“How did you – never mind. Even if we do falsify your records you can’t just walk into school. You need to enroll, you need a _parent_.”

Kurt grins and wiggles his eyebrows. Finn shakes his head.

“No.”

“Come on.”

“No, Kurt,” Finn says. “No way. I’ll call Ted and have him falsify those records for you but I am _not_ getting dragged into this with you.”

“Finn,” Kurt pouts. “Finn, come on. For your little brother.”

“You’re older than me, and knock it off. I said no.”

“Finn,” Kurt forces the pout more and flutters his eyelashes. “Finn.”

“ _No_ ,” Finn shakes his head and gives Kurt his most serious look.  “I’ll help you fake your identity and that’s it. The end. I’m not getting messed up in this whole thing, no way.”

“Finn,” Kurt repeats, clutching Finn’s arm. Finn glares down at him.

“I said-”

“I’ll take that job.”

Finn pauses. “What?”

“If this doesn’t work out. If it turns out my spirit guru-”

“Spirit guide.”

“Whatever. If it turns out that I was wrong about what my spirit guide wants and high school ends up being a monumental failure, I’ll take that job at the garage. I’ll sign the divorce papers, I’ll endure a couple of awkward weekends with kids that hate me every month, and I’ll work for you until I retire. Just _please_ , help me with this, Finn.” He lets Finn’s arm go and looks at the ground. “I have to try, you know? I have to at least try and get my life right.”

He can feel Finn’s eyes on him and he crosses his fingers behind his back.

“Fine,” Finn finally says, and Kurt jumps in excitement. “I’ll be your fake dad, whatever. But I’m holding you to that, okay? The second this falls apart – and it _will_ fall apart because going back to high school is a terrible idea – you pull out of school and start at the garage. Deal?”

“Deal,” Kurt hugs Finn tightly. “Thank you, Finn. Thank you _so_ much.”

“Yeah, whatever. I’ll go give Ted a call, okay? You stay here and don’t jump around too much. You’re going to ruin the carpet.”

Kurt doesn’t care. He jumps up and down a couple of times.

This is it. His life is finally going to turn around. For once everything is going right. For once he actually has a future that doesn’t involve cars in any way. He fist pumps and jumps one last time.

Yes, things are finally going his way.

**

Kurt is wiggling in his seat with excitement as he and Finn skype with Finn’s friend Ted. Ted doesn’t care why they need to falsify old school records or why they’re pretending that Finn has a seventeen year old son. Kurt’s pretty sure he doesn’t care about anything outside of the cash he knows Finn will be wiring to him later that day.

They’re trying to decide if his alias, Kyle Hudson, lived with his mother in Minnesota or South Dakota when Kurt’s phone rings. He excuses himself from the conversation, heart skipping a beat when he sees Blaine’s name on his screen.

He hides in the hallway. “Blaine?”

“Where the hell are you?”

Kurt frowns. “Where-” then it clicks. “Oh, shit. The thing.”

“You mean our divorce?!” Blaine doesn’t shout, he rarely does, but the way he raises his voice just so still makes Kurt feel like he’s being chastised.

“Right, our divorce. Shit.” He runs a hand over his face. His seventeen year old face. His eyes widen. “Um. I can’t be there today.”

“Kurt, we’ve had this appointment for over a month, you need to sign these papers.”

“I know, I know, I just. I had to… leave the country.”

He’s met with a brief silence, followed by a skeptical, “You had to leave the country.”

“Yes. It was very sudden, I got a job opportunity in Jamaica and I had to take it.”

“Are you taking any of this seriously?” Blaine asks, quieter this time.

“Of course,” Kurt says, defensive. “Of course I’m taking this seriously. It’s just this came up, and you know I’ve been looking for a better job, so I couldn’t really turn it down.”

“Right. And this has nothing to do with what you said yesterday about moving back in, right?”

“I never said that, you said that, and no it has nothing to do with that. I really am in Jamaica, it happened so fast, one second I was in Ohio, the next I’m on a plane.”

“Hey, Kurt!” Finn calls from the kitchen. “Get back here, you need to help us choose a picture.”

Kurt winces and hopes that Blaine didn’t hear.

“Are you with a guy?!” Blaine shrieks.

“No, that was, uh. My boss. Look, I’m so sorry Blaine, I swear this won’t happen again.”

“You’re right, it won’t,” Blaine’s voice sounds hard and cold. “I’ll just send the papers to Finn’s house and you can sign them when you ‘get back’, which by the way better be before our court date.”

“It will be. I’ll be on the first flight back to the States, I’m sure my boss will understand.”

“I’m sure he will,” with that Blaine hangs up, and Kurt resists the urge to bang his head against the wall.

“Hey, dude,” Finn says, suddenly beside him. “You okay?”

Kurt shakes his head, but says, “Yeah,” and follows him back to the kitchen so they can choose a good passport photo.

**

He gets up way too early the next morning, excited to begin his new life. He spends about half an hour trying to decide what to wear on his first day, finally choosing some simple blue jeans (which he has to hold up with a belt for the first time in years, much to his delight) and a black sweater over a t-shirt. Simple, kind of young, and most importantly the least Kurt Hummel-esque clothing he owns. Nobody will even suspect.

It’s around nine thirty when he and Finn head to the school, Kurt bouncing his leg up and down in the passenger seat of the car and Finn shooting him annoyed glances the entire way. Kurt just grins at him every time he catches the glares. Nothing’s going to put a damper on his mood.

Class has already started, so the hallways are mostly empty when they arrive. They have to walk past the announcement board on their way to the principal’s office, and Kurt sees the glee club sign-up sheet again. He can’t wait to put his name on it (or, rather, Kyle’s name).

The secretary makes them wait far too long. Finn keeps giving her a worried glance, as if she’s on to them already. Kurt rubs his sweaty palms over his jeans over and over again. He just wants to be enrolled in this stupid school so he can start his new life.

“Miss Berry will see you now,” the secretary drawls, pointing them toward the principal’s office. They get up too quickly and scurry into the office, almost running head first into some jock that’s exiting. The guy gives Kurt a look over and smirks, winking at him and puckering his lips in his direction before sauntering out.

Kurt shivers, entirely unnerved, and follows Finn into the office.

“Hi, Mr. Hudson, right?” the principal asks as they enter the room. Kurt shuts the door behind them as Finn and the principal shake hands. “I’m Miss Berry. I hear you’re interested in enrolling your son at our school.”

“I.” That’s all Finn seems to get out. Kurt turns to look at him and finds him gaping at Miss Berry (Rachel Berry, if Kurt remembers some of Blaine’s work stories correctly), holding her hand like a lifeline.

“Dad,” Kurt snaps at Finn, who thankfully lets go of Miss Berry’s hand.

“Okay,” Miss Berry says to herself, then to Kurt, “And you must be Kyle, right?”

“That’s me,” Kurt shakes her hand for a brief second and then lets it go like the normal human being he is. Finn just keeps staring at her.

“So, shall we get started?” Miss Berry asks them. Kurt nods.

“Kyle’s a bastard,” is how Finn replies.

Kurt stares at him with wide eyes and Miss Berry looks visible shaken. “I beg your pardon?”

“I – I had Kyle out of wedlock. His mom and I are separated. I thought you should know that.”

She purses her lips and gives him an awkward smile. “Well, thank you for telling me that Mr. Hudson. I can assure you here at McKinley we don’t discriminate based on how many parents a child has.”

“Great,” Kurt says, elbowing Finn roughly in the side as they sit down across from her desk. “That’s good to know. Dad, why don’t you give Miss Berry my transcripts?”

“Huh?” Finn doesn’t stop staring at the woman and Kurt really could smack him. He’s always wondered why Finn is still single, but if this is how he acts around all women then it really shouldn’t be that much of a surprise.

“My transcripts,” he says, slower. “So I can get enrolled at McKinley.”

“Yes. School. McKinley,” he rifles through his bag and pulls out a folder. “Here.”

Miss Berry takes the folder with a tight smile, making sure not to touch Finn’s fingers as she does.

She looks over the files, eyebrows raising and an impressed smile forming on her face. “Wow. Grade A student, honor roll at your old school, lead in the school musical. Very impressive Mr. Hudson.”

“Thanks,” Finn says, and Kurt elbows him again.

“She meant me,” he whispers, then says, “Thanks, Miss Berry,” with a smile. She glances between them suspiciously.

“Anyway,” she says, placing the folder on her desk and her hands on top of it. “I think McKinley would be delighted to have you,” she gives Kurt a genuine smile, though it turns awkward when she glances at Finn. “We’ll just get your schedule set up, have you fill out a couple of forms and you’ll be good to go.”

Kurt resists the urge to pump his fist in the air.

They did it. He’s in.

**

Kurt stares down at his schedule as they walk out of the classroom, heart fluttering in his chest at the sight of _AP English, Second Period, Mr. Anderson_. That went so much better than he expected, especially considering what an idiot Finn had made out of himself in there. He just hopes the rest of the students aren’t as nerve inducing as that jock had been, because he’s still got unpleasant chills running down his spine from that encounter.

“I can’t believe it worked,” he tells Finn as they start to walk toward the exit.

“I can’t believe that’s your principal,” Finn says, letting out a deep sigh. “Hey, how do you think your spirit guide would feel about you being a bit of a bad boy this time around, huh? Nothing too much, just enough that your dad has to come in and talk to the principal every now and then.”

Kurt rolls his eyes. “You’re unbelievable.”

“She was so beautiful,” Finn says.

Kurt chuckles, then looks down at his schedule again. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.”

Finn puts a hand on Kurt’s shoulder. “You’re sure this was the right move?”

Kurt looks up at him to nod, but his eye gets caught on something further down the hall. Blaine is standing next to an open door, a book in his hand, pointing something out to a student. Kurt bites his lip as he looks his husband over, from his sock-less ankles, to his rolled up jeans, to his bright blue bowtie, to his large glasses. He wonders why Blaine is wearing glasses today instead of the contacts he usually wears.

Blaine puts his hand on the girls shoulder, probably asking her if she gets it, and Kurt notices that he’s still wearing his ring. Kurt swallows thickly, wanting nothing more than to run over there, take Blaine in his arms, and never let him go again.

“Yeah,” he says, eyes still on his husband. “Definitely the right move.”


	7. Hope

Kurt isn’t quite sure if he’s more excited now or if he was more excited when he actually started high school at fourteen. He drives to school in his newly repainted car (thank you, Finn), wearing a brand new outfit (thank you, Finn), and feeling like a million bucks. He didn’t feel this good about high school the first time around, but that was different. Back then he just saw high school as something he had to survive (especially after his incredibly disheartening first day, which ended with him in a dumpster and his hopes and dreams about the wonders of high school shattered); now he sees high school as a gateway to his future. The future he’s always wanted. The future he’s always _deserved_.

It’s going to happen for him this time. He can feel it.

As he walks to his first period class he stops and signs up for glee club, feeling invigorated as he does. Yes, this was definitely the right choice.

**

His first period class is boring, but thankfully he still remembers most of his high school math, so he sort of zones out for the majority of the period, thinking about next period and how he gets to see Blaine.

When the bell rings signaling the end of class, Kurt practically books it out of the classroom, eager to see Blaine as soon as he possibly can.

He’s one of the first students to arrive in the English classroom and he makes sure to sit right up front. He knows that Blaine doesn’t like assigned seating, so he knows he’s not stealing somebody else’s spot.

More kids sit in the front few rows in this class than in Kurt’s first class, and honestly Kurt can’t really blame them. If he’d had a teacher that looked like Blaine in high school… well, let’s just say he would have sat in the front too.

The bell rings again and Blaine comes rushing into the classroom. He’s wearing his glasses again, and a red and white bowtie that Kurt gave him for Christmas a couple of years ago. It’s crooked, and Kurt thinks back on all the times that he’d straightened Blaine’s bowties before giving him a kiss on the lips, a pat on the ass, and telling him to have a good day at school. Blaine always blushed in the most adorable way when Kurt did that.

“Sorry I’m late,” Blaine says, setting his things down on his desk. “Everyone here, or do I have to take attendance?”

Kurt glances around. The room looks almost entirely full.

“Ashely isn’t here,” someone calls from the back of the room, and Blaine snaps his fingers in their direction and gives them a smile.

“Thanks Morgan. Okay, I’ll just mark down that Ashely isn’t here and we’ll get started.”

He pulls out his attendance sheet and writes something down on it. Then his eyebrows raise. “Oh,” he says. “It looks like we have a new student with us today. Kyle Hudson. Where are you Kyle-?”

His eyes meet Kurt’s and he freezes on the spot.

“I’m Kyle,” Kurt says, raising a hand and smiling at Blaine. Blaine just keeps staring at him, jaw dropping with every second.

“Oh my god,” Blaine shuts his eyes tight and then opens them again. “Oh my _god_.”

“Is there a problem, Mr. A?” someone asks.

“Yeah. No. I mean. No, no there’s no problem I just. Sorry, Kyle, you really remind me of someone I know.”

Kurt grins. “All good, Mr. Anderson.”

Blaine continues to stare at him.

“Um.” Blaine runs a hand through his hair, causing a couple of curls to pop out of the gel. “Okay, so. Class today. Did everyone finish the Frankenstein chapter for today?”

There’s a murmur of assent and Blaine nods.

“Okay, good. Well, um.” His eyes go back to Kurt, who raises and eyebrow and smiles. “Wow. Okay. Oh my god.”

“Are you okay, Mr. A?” the girl sitting beside Kurt asks.

“Yeah, I’m good, I’m just,” he fans his face, which is bright red. “You know what? You all did the readings, and you’ve been doing great so far this semester, so why don’t you just use this period off. Go to the library, go to the Lima Bean, I don’t know. Be teenagers.”

Nobody moves. “Wait, for real?” someone asks.

“Yes, for real. Go, skedaddle. Go enjoy a free period. Here, I’ll write you all passes.”

Everyone files to the front of the room, obviously confused, and Blaine gives them all hallway passes and tells them to have a good time. Kurt takes as long as possible putting his notebook and pencil case into his backpack, guaranteeing that he will be the last person in the room with Blaine.

Blaine gives the girl in front of Kurt a pass with a smile and wave goodbye, then looks at Kurt and swallows thickly. “Kyle, hey. Sorry for the weird first day. You know how we English teachers get.”

“It’s me, right?” Kurt asks, trying to sound like he’s confirming a suspicion rather than simply stating the obvious. “I’m why you’re acting so weird.”

“Of course not,” Blaine says, scribbling him a hall pass. “No, I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

Kurt nods. “Well, if it was something I did, I’m sorry. You seem like a cool teacher.”

“No, you didn’t-” Blaine runs a hand over his face, and Kurt’s eyes catch on his ring. His wearing it again today. Kurt thinks of his own ring, back at Finn’s house. He wishes he could show it to Blaine and say, “I still wear mine too! See! This divorce is stupid!”, but he knows that’ll just cause more trouble.

Then again, if Blaine is still wearing his ring maybe there really is still hope for them after all.

“I’m sorry, Kyle,” Blaine continues with a deep sigh. “You just look a lot like someone I know. Or, how he used to look.”

“Oh?” Kurt asks, raising an eyebrow, as though curious.

“Yeah. My husband, he… he looked exactly like you do when he was seventeen,” he shakes his head. “Sorry. My ex-husband. It’s… I don’t know, we’re going through a divorce and I guess I was just surprised to see my ex-husband’s doppelgänger sitting in the front row of my classroom.” He chuckles to himself. “And now I’m spilling my guts to said doppelgänger. I’m so sorry, Kyle.”

“Hey, no, it’s cool,” Kurt says. “People say I look like people they know a lot. I must just have that kind of face, you know?”

“Maybe,” Blaine says. “Anyway, go. Get a latte or whatever it is you kids drink nowadays. Sorry this class was so weird.”

“Like I said, it’s cool.” Kurt keeps looking at Blaine, biting his lip. “I guess I’ll see you around, Mr. A.”

Blaine nods, then before Kurt can leave says, “Hey, your last name is Hudson, right? Any relation to Finn Hudson?”

Kurt nods. “He’s my dad. I just moved out here to be with him.”

Blaine’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh. I didn’t know Finn had a son.”

“Yeah, I was a bit of an oops baby,” Kurt says, shrugging. “How, uh. How do you know my dad?”

“My hus- my ex-husband, Kurt. He’s his stepbrother.”

Kurt raises his eyebrows in feigned shock. “No way,” he says. “You’re the ex?”

Blaine smiles, though it doesn’t seem genuine. “That’s me.”

“Wow. Uncle Kurt is an idiot for letting you go.”

It slips out of his mouth before he can stop it, and Blaine’s eyebrows raise even further. “Um. Thanks, Kyle.”

Kurt nods, heart pounding. “No problem. So, I should probably…”

“Yeah, get out of here,” Blaine waves him away and Kurt goes, but not before looking over his shoulder at Blaine one last time. He finds him staring down at his hand and fiddling with his ring. Kurt bites his bottom lip to stop himself from saying any more stupid things and makes himself head out the door.


	8. Indecent

Kurt walks into the cafeteria feeling on top of the world. With every class, memories of what he learnt in high school come rushing back to him, so he feels confident enough to relax and day dream about his upcoming future with Blaine in New York. Blaine hasn’t taken his ring off, which means he still has some kind of feelings for Kurt.

He gets so happy about it during his fourth period history class that he almost squeals out loud. Thankfully he manages to stop himself.

Now he’s holding a tray of shitty high school food in his hands and scanning the cafeteria for –

Bingo.

Madison is sitting at a table by herself, picking at the salad in front of her. Kurt takes a deep breath and heads her way, grinning when he gets to her table.

“Hi,” he says.

She glances up and raises an eyebrow. “Um. Hello.”

“You’re Kurt and Blaine’s daughter, right?” he asks, setting his tray down on the table and sliding onto the bench in front of her. She looks a little scared, so he quickly says, “I’m Finn’s son. I’m your cousin.”

“Oh,” she smiles, though she still looks confused. “Wait, Uncle Finn has a son?”

“Yeah, um. It was an accident kind of thing. My mom wanted full custody, Dad was busy running all his shops, you know how it is.”

“I don’t know how it is, but cool,” she smiles. “I’m Madison.”

“Kyle,” he shakes her hand. “So hey, I hear you’re in glee club?”

She nods. “Yeah, Mason and I just joined recently. Are you thinking of trying out?”

“Already signed up.”

“Nice,” she grins. “We’re always looking for more members.”

So not much has changed, apparently. Kurt tries to think of what to ask her next, not wanting to let the longest conversation he’s had with his daughter in months die, but he catches her glancing longingly at something and loses his train of thought. He turns to where she’s looking and sees… fuck, the homophobic jock from the previous day in the office.

“Who’s that?” Kurt asks Madison.

“Who’s who?” Madison asks, feigning innocent as her cheeks turn dark red.

“The guy you’re staring at,” Kurt gestures toward the table where the jock is sitting with a friend, a heavy set guy with earphones around his neck.

She blushes even more and says, “Roderick.”

Roderick. So Homophobics Anonymous has a name. “Roderick,” he nods. “Are you two like, going out or…?”

“No,” she shakes her head and Kurt lets out a sigh of relief. “No, we can’t – I can’t go out with him.”

 _Good girl_. “Why not?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m a cheerleader, he’s… him. It just doesn’t work that way around here, you know?”

Kurt frowns. “Wait. Cheerleaders and jocks don’t date around here?”

She looks at him like he’s an idiot. “Uh, yeah, cheerleaders and jocks date. Cheerleaders and glee club leads don’t.”

Kurt turns and looks again. The jock is looking in their direction and he catches Kurt’s eye. He winks at him again, then turns his back on Kurt when his friend hits him on the shoulder and mouths something that looks like “Stop flirting.”

“Wait, which one is Roderick?” Kurt asks.

“The cute one,” Madison points past the jock to his friend. “Wait, did you think I was talking about Spencer?”

“Um.”

She laughs and shakes her head. “No, Kyle, oh my god. Spencer’s like, totally gay. Even if I did have a crush on him it wouldn’t matter. No, I like _Roderick_.”

Kurt turns back to see the heavier of the two looking at Madison and flashing her a smile. He then whispers something to the jock, Spencer, who turns around and smirks at Kurt.

Oh, god. The jock wasn’t mocking Kurt. He was _flirting_ with Kurt. A seventeen year old was flirting with him.

That was _so_ wrong.

“He looks nice,” Kurt says, trying to keep his inner freak-out, well, inside. “Aren’t you in glee club too? You know, when I was in glee club, everyone used to date everyone. Jocks with goths, cheerleaders with nerds. A guy in a wheelchair dated two cheerleaders, you know.”

“Were you in glee club at your old school?” Madison asks, and Kurt winces.

“Um. Yes. At my old school, totally. The point is that you shouldn’t let something as silly as a high school hierarchy get in your way. He clearly likes you.”

“I don’t know,” she shrugs. “I’m not that good at talking to guys.”

“You’re talking to me just fine,” Kurt says.

“Yeah, but that’s different. You’re like, my cousin. Plus I’m pretty sure you’re gay, so.”

Kurt’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh, am I?”

She smirks. “Yeah, you are. I have two gay dads, so my gaydar is pretty on point,” she winks. Kurt laughs.

“Wow, two gay dads. I would have loved that.”

Her smile fades. “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”

Kurt wants to ask her more, while also wanting to push the Roderick issue, but is distracted from both when he notices two red clad bodies at the end of the cafeteria.

“Oh my god,” he stands up, eyes wide in shock as he takes in what’s happening.

Two cheerleaders, a male and a female, and locked in an absolutely indecent kiss. The girl has the guy pressed against the wall, and the guy has his hand dangerously close to the girl’s ass. Kurt can’t help but stare in shock at the lack of respect they’re showing their peers.

His shock turns to anger when he realizes who the male cheerleader is.

“What the hell is your brother doing?” he asks Madison, his tone clipped and angry.

“What?” Madison glances behind her. “Oh, that. Just ignore it.”

Kurt shakes his head. “Unbelievable. I did _not_ raise him to do _this_.”

“What?” Madison asks, high pitched and confused. “You didn’t-”

Mason’s hand begins to slide under the girls skirt and nope. No, no, _hell_ no. He is not just going to sit idly by and watch this.

He marches over there, Madison hissing, “What are you _doing_?” as he goes. He stops right in front of the cheerleaders and grabs Mason’s wrist, his hand almost entire under the girl’s skirt.

“Whoa, what the hell man?” Mason asks, the girl stepping out of their way.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Kurt barks. “This is a high school cafeteria, not a live porn show.”

“Hey, excuse me, who are you?” the girl asks, a blonde with a glare that could cut glass. Lucky for Kurt he’s got an equally powerful glare up his sleeve.

“I’m this young man’s f-” he stops himself just in time, biting his tongue before saying, “cousin, but more importantly I’m a student at this school and I’d like to be able to eat my lunch without watching… that.”

“Hey, dude, no offense, but this is none of your business.”

“Uh, as somebody who just had to watch you grope this girl in the middle of a public space, yeah, I would say it’s my business. If you don’t want people interrupting you then get a room.”

Mason raises his eyebrows at him, then glances at the girl, who is looking at him expectantly. He grabs her hand and marches out of the cafeteria, says, “Alright, we _will_ get a room.”

A couple of the jocks and cheerleaders cheer for them, but most of the cafeteria is silent. Kurt shakes his head, anger running through his body as he goes back to where Madison is sitting.

“I am very disappointed in your brother,” he tells her, staring at the door through which Mason and the girl disappeared. “Just wait till I tell Blaine about this, I cannot _believe-_ ”

“Dude, chill out,” Madison says, rolling her eyes. “What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal,” Kurt says angrily, “Is that your brother is only sixteen years old. The big deal is that your Papa and-” he stops himself again, “your Dad raised him better than this, I’m assuming. The problem is that he is way too young to be sexually active, especially in such a shameless, public way.”

Madison chortles at that. “Oh my god. Mason isn’t _sexually active_ ,” she laughs again, as though the idea is ludicrous.

“Then what the hell-”

“He’s just being a bonehead. His girlfriend broke up with him so he’s trying to make her jealous by dating Kitty and putting on all these weird make out shows. I can guarantee you that the second they were out that door he made some excuse so as to not make out with her anymore.”

Kurt narrows his eyes. “So you’re telling me that Mason has been doing this more than once in an attempt to make a _different_ girl go out with him?”

“I told you, he’s a bonehead. I don’t even know where he got that idea.”

Kurt shakes his head, even angrier than before. Someone taps him on the shoulder and he looks up to find the jock, Spencer, standing next to him.

“Hey,” he says. “That was pretty cool, what you did. I’ve been wanting to stop those disgusting displays of heterosexuality for a while but you know how it is,” he winks at Madison who rolls her eyes, then turns back to Kurt. “I’m Spencer, by the way.”

“Kyle,” Kurt says, trying to move Spencer’s hand off his shoulder.

“Cool. Well, I hope to see you around Kyle,” he sends him yet another wink, then gestures to Roderick and they both leave the cafeteria. Roderick gives Madison a small wave as he does, and Kurt just shakes his head.

“What the hell is going on around here?” he asks. “Was that young man just hitting on me?”

“Young man?” Madison snorts. “What are you, forty?” she chuckles. “You’re funny, man. I’m going to like having you in glee club.”

Kurt’s shock and anger at the situation with Mason and being so blatantly hit on by a much younger man slightly dims at that. His daughter likes him. _His daughter likes him_.

Now he just has to get Blaine and Mason in his corner and everything will be the way it should. One down, two to go.

**

Finn is waiting for him at the house when he gets back. “How was school?” he asks, smirking. “Learn anything new?”

Kurt groans and drops his backpack by the floor. “That I’m a bad dad.”

Finn’s eyebrows shoot up. “What?”

“Yeah,” Kurt nods. “Madison has a crush on this guy from glee club, but she refuses to ask him out because she’s a cheerleader and he’s just a glee guy. Why does she think that way? How didn’t I notice?” he shakes his head. “And then I had to watch my son grope some girl he doesn’t even like in an attempt to get a _different_ girls attention. Who taught him that that sort of behaviour was okay?”

He passes Finn and heads to the kitchen. “But I’m going to fix it,” he says. “I’m going to befriend them and I’m going to help them. No more public indecency or high school pyramid schemes, not for my kids.”

“So… what you’re saying is that this was a terrible idea and we should pull you out?”

Kurt snorts. “No, Finn. What I’m saying is that my kids need me. High school was definitely the right idea. You’ll see.”

Finn shrugs. “Okay, if you say so.”

“I say so,” he nods. “Now, do you have anything to eat? Ever since I got this body I’ve been starving.”

Finn laughs and opens the fridge. “Welcome to the world of being a teenager.”


	9. Jumble

Kurt arrives at his first glee club meeting, his stomach a jumble of nerves. So far things have been going pretty great. He and Madison have eaten lunch together twice now, and each time she has insisted her joy in his presence. Mason looked like he was going to try and make out with his girlfriend at lunch again but he caught sight of Kurt, scowled, but sat down with the other cheerleaders and ate lunch like a normal human being. And Blaine…

Well, when Blaine isn’t getting flustered every time he glances at Kurt he’s actually a pretty damn good teacher. Probably the best teacher Kurt’s ever had, which is just weird to think about. Weirdness aside though, for the first time in his life Kurt can… well, he can kind of understand why Blaine wanted to do this so badly.

He still doesn’t get why he had to do it in _Ohio_ so badly, but the teacher thing? Yeah, he gets it. The way Blaine lights up when a student gets a correct answer, how kind he is to students who don’t understand, the way his eyes shine as he reads passages out loud. Blaine was born for this.

Kurt’s thoughts are interrupted as he enters the choir room and is greeted by a man with white hair and a far too large smile. “Hey, there. You must be Kyle. Welcome to the New Directions.”

Kurt’s eyes widen as he recognizes the man. “Mr. Schuester?” he asks, flabbergasted. “You’re still here?!”

One of the man’s eyebrows raises slowly, and Kurt quickly says, “I mean, you’re a legend. All the National titles you’ve won for New Directions over the years.”

Mr. Schuester nods, and Kurt has to do his best not to sigh in relief. “Yeah, well. Twenty-two years in this choir room,” he grins. “This is actually my last one.”

“Well, show choir will have lost an amazing coach.”

Mr. Schuester chuckles. “You say that now, wait till I’ve got you in here practicing for Nationals at six in the morning.”

Kurt smiles. “I’m sure I can handle it.”

“That’s what I like to hear. Now, it looks like almost everyone is here, so why don’t you show us what you’ve got? Everybody,” he turns to address the class. “This is Kyle Hudson. He’s going to audition for us today.”

“Oh, jeez,” he hears Mason’s voice. “Now I have to deal with this clown in here too?”

“Knock it off,” Madison snips. “Literally everybody has wanted to tell you and Kitty to stop making out in plain sight. Just because he actually had the guts doesn’t mean you can be an asshole to him.”

Mason scoffs, as does his girlfriend who is sitting next to him, arms crossed in front of her chest and eyes mid roll.

Kurt smiles at Madison, who gives him a thumbs up. He turns to the piano player (thankfully not the creepy guy they had back in high school) and tells him what song he’s going to sing.

The opening notes to Defying Gravity float through the room, and Madison claps in excitement. Kurt glances at Mason and sees him try and maintain his annoyed façade, but Kurt knows better. Those two were _raised_ on Wicked.

He begins to sing and it’s like he’s finding himself again. Blaine may have been born to teach, but him? This is what he was born to do. It’s been so long since he stood in front of a group of people like this and just _sang_. It feels like coming home.

When he hits the high F it’s as if he could just lift right off the ground and fly away. Madison claps as he draws the song to its conclusion, and soon the rest of the class is clapping as well. Even Mason and his girlfriend are reluctantly clapping.

He grins and turns to look at Mr. Schuester, but his eyes are caught on the open door just behind him. Blaine is standing there, tears glistening in his eyes, a stack of paper held to his chest. Kurt sends him a smile, butterflies fluttering in his chest, and Blaine wipes his eyes and scurries away.

“That was amazing, Kyle!” Mr. Schuester says, clapping him on the shoulders. “I think I can safely say: welcome to the New Directions!”

Kurt smiles his thanks, but his eyes go back to where Blaine was just standing. Somehow seeing Blaine run away dims the elation he was feeling only moments earlier. He forces himself to keep smiling as he goes to sit down beside Madison.

This is what he’s here for. Glee club, singing, a solo at Nationals! Getting back together with Blaine is just supposed to be the cherry on top. He needs to remind himself of that.

**

Three hours later he’s in his old living room, bouncing around with Madison to some Top 40 song he hadn’t heard until an hour earlier.

Mr. Schuester had announced that the assignment this week was duets, and that he was allowing everybody to choose their own partners. Madison instantly told Kurt she wanted to work with him and invited him over right after school, saying her Papa was going out anyway so they could have the house to themselves to rehearse.

Mason drove them home and then disappeared into his room, grumbling about the company his sister chooses to keep. Kurt watched him go, wanting nothing more than to form the same bond he had with Madison with Mason as well.

Of course, by now that’s long forgotten. He hasn’t seen Mason in the two and a half hours they’ve been here, and he hasn’t thought about him in just as long. He and Madison have been singing every single duet released in the past fifty years, and Kurt doesn’t think he’s had this much fun with his daughter since she was ten years old and still liked spending time with him.

They’re halfway through a silly rendition of Breaking Free from the first High School Musical when the door opens and Blaine appears in the doorway.

He’s soon followed by Sam and Tina, two people who Kurt used to consider close friends before they completely ditched him when Blaine kicked him out. He stops dancing around and Madison turns the music off.

“Hey Papa,” she says, tucking a loose lock of hair behind her ear. “You’re home earlier then I thought.”

“Yeah, let’s just say your Papa enjoyed happy hour a little bit too much,” Sam jokes. He turns to Kurt and asks, “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Kyle. He’s Uncle Finn’s son.”

Sam and Tina both frown. “I didn’t know Finn had a son,” Tina says, giving Kurt a suspicious look. Blaine wobbles a little where he’s standing and she hurries to right him.

“Well, he does,” Kurt says, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. He thought these two were his _friends_ , goddammit, and it hurts to see them again knowing they probably think the pits of him.

Blaine stumbles forward until he’s standing directly in front of Kurt. He stares at him, eyes glassy, then slaps his hands on both sides of his face.

“You look just like my husband,” he says, pulling at Kurt’s cheeks, voice slurred. “This is so weird.”

“It is weird,” Kurt says, trying to keep the amusement out of his voice. Blaine pinches his bottom lip, and it takes all Kurt has not to give his finger a nibble.

“Doesn’t he look just like my husband?” Blaine turns to Sam and Tina. “My ex-husband, I mean.”

“Okay, honey,” Tina hurries to Blaine’s side and pulls him off of Kurt. “I think it’s time for you to sleep this off.”

“You should have heard him sing earlier,” Blaine whispers, though it’s still loud enough for Kurt and Madison to hear. “He sounds just like Kurt too.”

“I’m sure he does, but sweetie, I think you’re just making it all up in your mind. You have to get Kurt out of your head, you know. Forget about that guy.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Blaine nods. He points at Kurt. “Before I do that, I’m going to smell him.”

He takes a step toward Kurt, and Sam interferes. Madison is looking far too amused, and Kurt can’t help but smile as well. It’s been so long since he and Blaine got drunk he forgot how adorable Blaine gets.

“You can’t smell teenagers, dude,” Sam says. “You’re just too in your head about all of this. You need to forget Kurt so that you can make room for a new man in your life.”

“What?” Kurt practically shouts, clapping a hand over his mouth as soon as he says it.

Sam and Tina turn to him and raise an eyebrow.

“I agree,” Madison says, and Kurt could honestly kiss her. “You and Dad aren’t even divorced yet. Should you guys really be pushing him to date someone else? They were kind of together for like, twenty-two years.”

“Honey, when you grow up you’ll understand that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

Kurt gapes. “Did you seriously just say that to m- to Blaine’s daughter? To _me_ , practically a total stranger?”

“Hey,” Tina puts her hands up. “I’m just saying-”

“You’re just saying to a couple of impressionable teenagers that it’s okay to have casual sex when you’re technically still married, is what you’re just saying. You’re telling Madison that you think it’s fine that her father go out and throw himself at the first available man he finds because god forbid he want to honor his wedding vows until the marriage is actually broken.”

“Listen kid,” Tina goes to say, but Blaine stops her.

“Doesn’t he _talk_ just like Kurt too?” he giggles. “It’s so _weird_.”

“Alright,” Sam pats Blaine on the back and gives Tina a warning look. “I think we should get this guy to bed and then head out. No need to get into arguments with teenagers.”

“But he’s being a little shit-”

“Hey,” Blaine puts up a finger to her lips. “Not in front of my little girl.”

Madison covers up a giggle with her hand, and Kurt can’t help but chuckle as well. Blaine’s always been so strange about letting the kids hear them swearing.

Sam and Tina start to take Blaine upstairs, and Blaine turns back one last time to look at Kurt and say, “ _So weird_.”

Madison bursts out laughing as soon as they’re out of sight. “Oh my god!”

Kurt chuckles as well, though he isn’t feeling as amused as she seems to be. “Does she always say things like that around you and Mason? Because if she does I’m starting to have an idea who influenced Mason’s harebrained scheme to get his girlfriend back.”

Madison rolls her eyes. “She means well, I promise. So does my Papa. He’s just been weird about the divorce. Really sad, and stuff. Which is weird because he was the one who called it off.”

“Yeah,” Kurt chews on his bottom lip, unsure of what to say.

“You want to keep practicing?” Madison asks. “We can just forget this whole thing happened.”

Kurt nods and goes over to the CD rack, already looking for another duet to sing. “Sounds like a plan.”


	10. Kink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING for homophobia, homophobic slurs, one use of the c-word, and a reference to spanking

Kurt starts his second week of school with a spring in his step. He spent all weekend practicing his duet with Madison, and on Sunday Mason even joined them briefly for a couple of Wicked songs, though he disappeared as soon as Madison switched to Hamilton. Still, it’s progress, and Kurt hasn’t been able to stop smiling.

He goes through his first class in a daze. He can’t stop thinking about the weekend. About Madison telling him she’s glad he moved in with Finn. About Mason singing with them for those few minutes. About Blaine appearing every now and again, blushing furiously every time he looked at Kurt and quietly apologizing to him for what happened the other day.

Kurt hasn’t made Blaine blush in _years_. He missed it.

He spends all of second period doodling _Kurt + Blaine_ in his notebook and staring dreamily at Blaine. It seems incredibly stupid, but he feels like he’s falling in love with Blaine all over again. It’s like there’d been this disconnect in their relationship before, but now that Kurt is around all the time, hanging out with Madison, seeing how great Blaine is with his students…

He’s pretty sure he’s got a crush on his husband.

Well, crush may be a little too innocent. He has been having some pretty sordid fantasies about Blaine’s desk and Blaine’s office. He’s seriously kicking himself for all the missed student-teacher roleplay opportunities. Why he didn’t think of it sooner…

The bell rings and Kurt dawdles, as usual. He can’t help it. Even if he and Blaine don’t speak beyond a simple, “Have a good rest of the day, Kyle!” and, “You too, Mr. A!” it’s still worth it. For months it’s been nothing but brief phone calls to arrange meetings with lawyers and barely seeing each other outside of said meetings. Every second spent in Blaine’s presence feels like a blessing.

Today just as he’s leaving the classroom, Blaine looks up at him and says, “I overheard you and Madison practicing your duet over the weekend.”

Kurt turns to him and raises an eyebrow. “Oh?”

Blaine nods, bashful. “You sounded really good.”

Kurt grins, heart fluttering. “Thanks, Bee.”

He freezes as soon as the nickname slips out of his mouth.

“What did you just call me?” Blaine asks, though his voice and face barely give any indication of what emotion he’s feeling.

Kurt winces. “Um. I said, thanks, teach.”

“You called me Bee,” Blaine takes a step closer. “My husband’s the only one who calls me Bee.”

“You must have misheard me,” Kurt tries, backing out of the classroom. “Um. Great class today, Mr. A. I’ll see you around.”

He books it out of there as fast as he can, feeling like the dumbest person alive. He’s had a couple of close calls with Madison before, but this? God, how could he be so stupid? He _knows_ he’s the only person who calls Blaine Bee. Blaine hates any manner of nicknames, has never so much as called Kurt ‘honey’. Bee is the only thing he lets Kurt get away with.

When Kurt arrives to his third period class he finds most seats already taken. He ends up having to sit at the back, which is good since he’ll probably be spending most of the period banging his head against his desk.

He catches sight of Mason’s girlfriend and scoffs. She catches the look and rolls her eyes, going back to talking to her friends.

He spaces out, doodling in his notebook some more, wondering how he’s going to explain calling Blaine ‘Bee’ away.

“- just never know what to write for his assignments,” one of the girls in front of him says. “They’re always so hard, and I want to impress him, you know? Let him know I’m not just a dumb cheerleader who’s only taking his class to stare at his ass.”

“That _is_ why you took his class though,” Mason’s girlfriend shoots back.

The girl scowls. “At first, back when I was a freshman. Now it’s different. I _like_ reading. I like writing. I like Mr. A as more than just a piece of eye candy,” that gets Kurt’s attention. He looks up to see the girl twirling a piece of hair around her finger. “I don’t know, I just want to do a good job in his class. Is that so bad?”

Mason’s girlfriend shrugs. “Just write it about something gay then.”

“Kitty!” another of the girls shrieks.

“What?” she shoots back. “Everyone knows he’s a total flamer.”

“Excuse me,” Kurt says, drawing the girls’ attention to himself. “That’s an incredibly offensive thing to say. Exactly what century do you think we’re living in?”

“I’m not being offensive,” Mason’s girlfriend shoots back. “I’m just stating facts. What, you’re trying to tell me you didn’t know Mr. A was from fairy town?”

Kurt tries to keep his cool. He really does. “Listen, just because his lifestyle doesn’t line up with whatever archaic world you’re living in does not mean that you have to throw around insults that haven’t been used since the early two thousand’s. Homophobia isn’t pretty.”

“You’re only saying that because you’re a homo too,” Kitty says, rolling her eyes.

Kurt sees red. “And you’re only saying these things because you’re a fucking _cunt_.”

The entire class goes silent. Several of the girl’s jaws drop, but Kitty just smirks.

“Mr. Hudson!” the teacher shouts from where she’s standing at the front of the class, a bunch of papers still in her hands. “Principal’s office. Now.”

Kurt swallows thickly, gathers his things and goes. He glances back to shoot Kitty one last glare before he leaves, and when he does she wiggles her fingers at him, that stupid little smirk still firmly in place.

He shakes his head. _Unbelievable_.

**

It’s only twenty minutes later that Finn shows up. He’s wearing far too tight jeans and his old high school football jersey. The ridiculousness of his outfit briefly makes Kurt forget why he’s here.

“Hey man,” Finn says, sitting down on the bench outside the principal’s office next to him. “Great job on the name calling. Really good choice for a way to get in trouble.”

Kurt shakes his head. “What the hell are you wearing? I’m the one back in high school, not you.”

“Oh, this? You think Miss Berry will like it?”

Kurt looks away from him, eyes going to the ceiling as he murmurs, “Unbelievable.”

“What? Don’t all girls have this like, fantasy of dating the most popular guy in high school? I’m just reminding her that I was that guy, and then she’ll want to date me.”

“You’re insane.”

“The internet said-”

“Miss Berry will see you now,” the secretary calls. Finn wiggles his eyebrows and Kurt has to resist the urge to roll his eyes. They head into the office, Finn winking at the secretary as he goes. She actually does roll her eyes.

Miss Berry is sitting on the opposite side of her desk, lips pursed and looking entirely unimpressed. Kurt tries to smile, but she just shakes her head.

“Mr. Hudson,” she says, to Finn. “Are you aware of why we called you in here today?”

“You were dying to see me again?” Finn tries. If anything it just makes Miss Berry look even less impressed than before.

“Your son used incredibly foul language, not to mention a gendered slur, in class today. As I’m sure you understand, this is entirely unacceptable.”

“She egged me on,” Kurt says. “She was saying stuff about Bl – about Mr. Anderson. How he’s a homo and a fairy, things like that. Was I supposed to just _let her_?”

Miss Berry’s eyebrows raise slightly. “Regardless of your noble intentions, Mr. Hudson, McKinley has a very strict policy when it comes to swearing and slurs.”

“She called him a flamer! You’re telling me that’s not a slur?”

“Whose slur was worst is not the point, Mr. Hudson,” she says, and Kurt instantly feels chastised. “The point is that you said something entirely inappropriate and, frankly, quite sexist to one of your classmates today. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to take some sort of measure to ensure this doesn’t happen again.” She glances down at some papers, what he assumes is his file. “I see you joined glee club.”

“Don’t,” Kurt says, eyes widening as fear shoots through him. “Please, anything but glee club. You have to let me stay in glee club.”

“Miss Berry,” Finn interjects. “My son is a singer. Top notch, headed straight to Broadway. If you forbid him from participating in glee club, you’re basically throwing away his entire future.”

Kurt nods along, glad that Finn put aside his silly crush for a couple of seconds.

The principal turns to Finn. “So what is it that you propose we do, Mr. Hudson?”

Finn shrugs. “I’ll take his punishment.”

Nope. Kurt’s nods turn to shakes. He was wrong. Finn didn’t put his silly crush aside. Oh, god, he’s going to make things worse.

“Will you?”

“I will. I know it’ll be a hardship, but I will endure it for the sake of my son. I think a thorough spanking will quite do the-”

“Oh my god, shut up,” Kurt says, smacking Finn on the arm. “Miss Berry, I’m very sorry for my father’s inappropriate behaviour. I will take any punishment you see fit just… please. Please don’t make me pull out of glee club.”

She glances between them, eyes narrowed. “As long as you promise that he,” she points at Finn, “will never mention spanking around me ever again…”

“I promise,” Kurt assures.

She deliberates for several seconds, eyes still narrowed in their direction.

“Fine,” she eventually says. “It’s your first misdemeanour at this school, so I’ll let you off with a warning. But Kyle, if I ever hear that you’ve said something like this to a classmate ever again-”

“I won’t, I swear,” he grins. “Thank you, thank you so much Miss Berry.”

She nods, then gestures to the door with her head. “You may go.”

They stand up to leave, and Finn practically hightails it out of there. Hopefully embarrassed by his ridiculous behaviour.

“Kyle,” she calls, just as he’s about to leave. He turns in her direction. “While I don’t appreciate you fighting fire with fire… thank you for standing up for Mr. Anderson.” She smiles at him. “I know he’s had some issues with homophobia from students in the past. It’s nice to know at least one of you has his back.”

Kurt nods and sends her a tight smile. Right before he closes the door he hears her talking to her secretary through the phone, asking her to send Kitty Wilde to her office as soon as possible.

His head begins to hurt as soon as he’s out of the office. What issues with homophobia has Blaine had? How is this the first time he’s heard of it? Why hadn’t Blaine _told_ him?

“-just wanted a change of pace, you know how it is,” he hears Finn say, and he looks up to see his stepbrother talking to his husband. Kurt’s eyes widen as he catches sight of Blaine. Blaine who is smiling at Finn as though nothing is wrong. Blaine, who’s had issues with homophobia from his students. Blaine, the kindest, sweetest man, the last person who should ever have to deal with that shit, having to deal with it on a daily basis, and from fucking _teenagers_ …

“Kyle,” Blaine says, smiling at him as he approaches. “I, uh. I heard what happened.”

“Already?” Kurt can’t help but ask. Jeez, he forgot how fast word got around in high school.

“One of the cheerleaders texted Madison, who texted me,” he chuckles. “You’d think my own kids would know better than to text me while they’re in class,” this is directed to Finn, who laughs as well and shakes his head fondly, as if he knows any idea what it’s like to have a child.

“Listen, Mr. A…”

“It’s okay,” Blaine says. “I’m not here to ream you out. I’m sure Miss Berry did enough of that. I just…” he glances around, and then quietly says, “I just wanted to thank you. For what you said to Kitty. Not everyone would have said something.”

Kurt’s insides warm. “I couldn’t let her talk about you like that,” he says, a little bashfully. Blaine smiles warmly and Kurt could just melt right into the ground.

“I’m glad you didn’t. It… it really means a lot to me.” He glances at Finn, and quickly says. “Not that I condone that kind of language.”

“Of course not,” Kurt hurries to agree, though his smile grows wider.

“And I hope you haven’t been talking like that around Madison.”

“Absolutely not, Mr. A,” Kurt grins.

Blaine grins back and releases a heavy breath. “Um. Anyway, I should get going. I have another class soon. You should probably head back to your own class as well Kyle. Good to see you Finn,” he claps Finn on the arm and scurries away. Kurt watches him go, a stupid grin plastered on his face.

“What the hell was that?” Finn asks.

Kurt keeps watching Blaine as he goes, smiling as he stumbles a little over his own feet in his hurry to get away. “Progress.”


	11. Legend

The sound of applause greets Kurt and Madison as they finish their duet, hands clasped together, opposite arms raised in the air. Kurt feels as exhilarated as he did the last time he performed, only this time it feels even better. He just performed a duet with his _daughter_. His daughter who hasn’t wanted to sing a duet with him since she was twelve years old. And they sounded fucking incredible.

“Wow, guys!” Mr. Schuester approaches them, still clapping. “That was amazing. I mean… wow!”

Kurt and Madison curtsey, and then Madison squeals and throws herself into Kurt’s arms. Kurt grins happily as he holds her close, not even sure he can remember the last time Madison hugged him like this.

“We were so good!” she whispers. “I’ve never been that good with anyone other than Mason!”

“Nonsense,” Kurt whispers back. “You’re amazing all on your own. I was just a good backup.”

They scurry to their seats and watch as Mason and Kitty stand up, Mason sending Kurt a glare as he goes. Kurt smiles encouragingly, and Mason rolls his eyes.

To absolutely nobody’s surprise they begin to sing an overtly sexual Top 40 hit, Kitty wrapping her entire body around Mason, and Mason grinding into her in a way that is absolutely obscene. Kurt shakes his head as he watches the performance, jaw clenched and hands fisted at his side.

“Hey,” Madison whispers. “Chill out. He’s just being an idiot, just ignore him.”

He wishes he could. He wishes he could just leave his parenting goggles at home, but he _can’t_. This is son, who he raised from birth (well, okay, from five, but that’s basically the same thing). This is his son who is making a total and complete inappropriate fool of himself, and for what? For a girl who is sitting in the back of the choir room texting through the entire performance, not even bothering to pay attention.

Part of Kurt wants to shake Jane for making his son act like such an idiot. Another part of him wants to shake her hand for being so amazingly above all this pettiness. Spencer the jock elbows her and whispers something in her ear. She rolls her eyes, but otherwise doesn’t look up from her phone.

Amazing. Absolutely amazing. Kurt is really leaning more toward shaking her hand.

“Thank you, Mason and Kitty,” Mr. Schuester says, clapping politely. “That was… interesting.”

“That’s one way of putting it,” Kurt mutters, shaking his head in disappointment as Mason walks past him. Kitty flips him off, and Kurt resists the urge to reciprocate.

Next up are Jane and Roderick, and Kurt watches far more attentively than he did Mason and Kitty’s performance.

They sing well together, voices blending smoothly, and Kurt can’t help but smile as he watches. These are his future children-in-law, after all. Well, if he has anything to say about it of course. There’s no way he’s letting Mason marry that conniving Kitty, not after she got Kurt sent to the principal’s office like that. Jane is definitely better suited for Mason, especially seeing how little she’s responding to his childish attempts at making her jealous. Kurt can just tell she would keep Mason in place in a way that Blaine has only ever been able to.

As for Roderick, he’s yet to find a way to bring that up to Madison. But the voice on that boy? That alone is enough for Kurt to want him in the family.

Mr. Schuester gives them a brief lesson after Jane and Roderick’s performance, though Kurt barely pays attention. It feels like lately his mind is in ten places at once. He’s too focused on Mason and Kitty, Mason and Jane, Madison and Roderick, that stupid Spencer kid who he can _feel_ staring at him, and the constant nagging reminder that Blaine has experienced homophobia at this school and hadn’t told him.

He’s pulled out of his thoughts as people being to stand, readying themselves to leave. Mason tells Madison that he’s going out with Kitty, and to tell Papa not to wait up. Kurt scowls, and Madison just rolls her eyes.

“I bet you anything he’s just going to hide out in the library,” she says. “He’s such a dork, I swear to god.”

“Kyle, Madison!” Mr. Schuester stops them before they leave. “I was hoping I could talk to you two for a minute.”

“What’s up Mr. Schue?” Madison asks, smiling widely at their teacher.

“I just wanted to congratulate you two again for such an amazing performance,” he says. “I mean, really. Kyle, your voice is just… wow. And Madison, I never knew your range was that high!”

“Me neither,” she admits, smirking at Kurt. “Kyle challenged me to hit those high notes. I didn’t know I had it in me, but…”

“But you do,” Mr. Schuester grins at them. “Listen, I’d like you two to audition for the solo for Invitationals next week.”

Madison’s eyes widen. “Wait, really? You aren’t just giving it to Roderick?”

Mr. Schuester shakes his head. “Roderick has requested he be given a smaller part at the Invitationals this year.  I’ll be holding auditions for a duet partner for him, separately of course. But I really think you should both audition for the solo. I’m not asking everyone, just those who really excel at this assignment, and you two… well, you honestly blew that number out of the water.”

Kurt’s heart couldn’t beat faster if it tried. A solo. He’s already being asked to audition for a _solo_. Just for Invitationals, but _still_. Invitationals is only a couple of weeks before Sectionals, which means their set list will probably be very similar. If he can get in for Invitationals…

“We’ll definitely do it,” he says, not even bothering to check with Madison.

“Great!” Mr. Schuester claps his hands together. “I’ll email you guys the details!”

They leave after that, waving goodbye. Kurt is basically bouncing on the balls of his feet as they go, unable to stop from grinning uncontrollably.

“Can you believe it? He wants me to audition for a solo!”

“I know, I was there,” Madison sounds slightly amused. “Why are you acting so surprised? You were amazing, Kyle. I can’t imagine you were given the short end of the stick too often at your old school.”

“Are you kidding me? Do you know how long I had to beg and plead for my solo at Nationals?”

Her head whips to look at him. “You sang a solo at _Nationals_?”

 _Shit_. “Um. No.”

“But you just said-”

“Yeah, I, uh. I got sick, last minute. Had to pull out. That’s why I’m so excited. I really want a second chance at that, you know? It would look great on my college applications.”

She looks a bit skeptical, but still nods. “I get that,” she says. “I’ve never been asked to audition for a solo before.”

Kurt raises an eyebrow. “You don’t sound too excited.”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. Is it stupid that I want to audition for the duet instead?”

“What? Of course not. Why would it be stupid?”

“I don’t know. A solo is so huge, you know? Basically anybody who sings a solo in New Directions is being given the opportunity to become a show choir legend. I know my Papa would be super proud of me. But the chance to sing with Roderick…”

Kurt purses his lips, choosing his next words carefully. “What about your Dad? Wouldn’t he be proud of you too?”

They exit the building in silence, Madison chewing on her bottom lip in deliberation. It isn’t until they reach Kurt’s car that she says. “My Dad wouldn’t really care.”

Kurt has to fight to keep his jaw from dropping. “What, uh. What makes you say that?”

“Well he’s never been to any of our cheerleading competitions,” she says, sighing. “And when we were in elementary school he never attended any of our Christmas programs, or any plays we were in. Why would he start caring now?”

Kurt wants to fight the accusations. He wants to defend himself, to tell her that that _isn’t true._

It is though. It is true. He’s never been to any of their productions. He always had to work, or he was too busy drinking himself into oblivion because his children were getting a chance at his dream to attend.

“Maybe he just didn’t know you were in cheerleading,” he says, going for the one thing he knows he can defend. Because he didn’t know. They never told him.

“We told him,” Madison says, rolling her eyes. “Multiple times. All he would reply with was ‘That’s nice, honey’, and then he’d go back to complaining about his shitty job and his shitty life,” she shakes her head. “That’s all he really did. Complain, complain, and complain. If only he hadn’t stayed in Ohio. If only he’d gone to New York. If only, if only, if only. Like, did he ever stop to think that ‘if only’ they’d gone to New York they would have probably never adopted us? No, of course not. All he thinks about is himself, and his stupid delusions of grandeur and…” she stops herself, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry. Wow. I’m totally unloading on you like a freak, I’m so sorry.”

Kurt doesn’t know what to say. He feels like he just got smacked upside the head with a brick.

If they had gone to New York they would never have adopted Madison and Mason.

_If they had gone to New York they would never have adopted Madison and Mason._

“Hey,” Madison leans against his car. “Do you want to come over? We can celebrate our upcoming auditions.”

Kurt looks over at her, sees the way she’s staring at him cautiously, obviously worried she scared him away. She didn’t, god, she could _never_ , but what she just told him…

He can’t believe he never thought of that before.

He really is a bad father.

“Yeah, that would be cool,” he says, nodding. “And hey, uh. If you ever need to rant or whatever. That’s what cousins are for, right?”

She smiles at him and then steps in for another hug. Kurt holds her tighter than before, the idea of her not being in his life, of she and Mason being adopted by another family, or worse, of them being stuck in the foster care system forever still running through his head.

They didn’t go to New York, though. They stayed in Ohio, and he has the most wonderful kids in the world.

For the first time in his life, he thinks maybe it was an okay trade.


	12. Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING for minor seblaine in this one (very minor)

They arrive at the house and Madison instantly dashes up to her room, promising to be down in a second. She gives the excuse of wanting to change out of her cheerleading uniform, but Kurt knows she really wants to regroup after basically pouring her heart and soul out to him in the parking lot.

He understands. He does the same thing.

He heads into the living room. Even though he’s spent most of the previous weekend here, and even though he lived here for a large majority of the past twenty years, he still can’t help but feel like he doesn’t belong here anymore.

No wonder, too. He still can’t get what Madison said out of his head. If this is what the kids have been hearing every time he complained in the past twelve years… god, no wonder they hate him. They must think _he_ hates them.

He pauses in front of their small fireplace, pulling a familiar picture off the mantel. It’s of him and Blaine with the twins, only a few days after the adoption officially went through. Kurt has Madison on his shoulders and Blaine is holding Mason up on his hip. God, Mason was so small when they first got them. He forgot how small they both were.

He smiles and rubs his thumb over Blaine’s smiling face. He can’t remember ever seeing Blaine happier than he was when they adopted the twins. Well, maybe on their wedding day. But even then he isn’t too sure.

This was always what Blaine wanted. Ohio, teaching, the twins… Kurt’s always been the odd one out in the equation. And, well, if Blaine has been feeling the resentment from Kurt that the twins have been feeling, misplaced as it may be… He can’t exactly fault him for kicking him out.

Kurt blinks and he feels a tear fall down his cheek. He wipes his eye, swallowing thickly.

No. No, this isn’t how it’s supposed to go. He’s supposed to befriend the twins, win Blaine back, and then go to New York to be on Broadway. He’s not supposed to…

This isn’t supposed to be his fault. None of this has ever felt like his fault. Why does it suddenly feel like everything is Kurt’s fault?

“Oh, Kyle.”

Kurt turns around and sees Blaine standing behind him, tying a plain red bowtie around his neck.

“Mr. A,” Kurt says, a little breathlessly. Blaine smiles at him, finishing up with his bowtie and leaving it crooked on his neck. He isn’t wearing his glasses for the first time in a while, and Kurt kind of misses seeing them on his face. He’s sort of grown used to them over the past few days.

Kurt tuts as Blaine goes to fix his cufflinks and walks forward without thinking. Within seconds he has his hands on Blaine’s bowtie and is straightening it like he always used to, shaking his head fondly as he does. He can hear Blaine’s sharp intake of breath, and Kurt looks into his eyes, finds them wide and surprised.

“Sorry,” Kurt says, instantly stepping back. “It was, uh. Crooked. Your bowtie.”

Blaine nods, eyes on the wall behind Kurt’s head. “Thanks, Kyle.”

“No problem, Mr. A,” Kurt takes another step back and mock salutes him. Blaine gives him a cautious look, then shakes his head and whispers, “it’s all in your head, Blaine, it’s all in your head,” as he continues to fix his cufflinks.

“You look nice,” Kurt says, trying to diffuse the tension. “Are you going out?”

Blaine nods, though he seems distracted. “On a date, actually,” he says, holding his cufflinks up to his face to see what he’s doing wrong.

For the second time in a day Kurt feels like he just got hit by a brick.

“A date?”

“Yeah. He’s going to be here any minute, so if I can make these stupid cufflinks stay on right…” he shakes his head in frustration.

Kurt tries to find something to look at other than his husband. His husband who is about to go on a date with another man. Because he isn’t his husband anymore. Or, he won’t be soon. Because Kurt…

“Isn’t it a little early to be going on a date?”

Blaine shrugs. “Well, he wanted to take me dancing, but insisted we get something to eat first. Dancing starts at six, so if we eat at four thirty that should give us enough time to eat, I think.”

Not at all what Kurt meant, but he’ll roll with it. “You’re going dancing?” Blaine always wanted to take Kurt dancing. He begged him so many times, even just to go outside when it was a full moon because _look how romantic, Kurt, don’t you want to dance under the moonlight with me?_ Kurt always refused. It reminded him too much of all the dancing he would have done on Broadway. God, how fucking stupid is that? He never went dancing with his husband and now his husband is going dancing with someone else.

“Yeah, which is stupid, because I’m a terrible dancer,” Blaine says, rolling his eyes at himself, grinning when he finally clips the cufflinks on properly.

“You’re an amazing dancer,” Kurt says, shaking his head at Blaine’s modesty.

Blaine looks over at him, eyes just as wide as before. “What did you just say?”

Kurt struggles, before blurting out, “You just look like you can move.”

He wants to smack himself in the face. What? _What_?!

“Um. Thank you, Kyle. I guess. But I really am not that great of a dancer. Kurt was always the dancer between the two of us.”

Kurt swallows thickly. That’s one thing they’d always disagreed on.

“Prove it to me.”

Blaine quirks an eyebrow, now looking more amused than confused. “What?”

“Show me how terrible your moves are.”

He’s already heading over to the CD rack and picking out the one CD that Blaine never let him throw out. No matter how much he put up a fight, the truth is that Kurt never really wanted to throw this one out. It may not be a classic, as Blaine claimed, but it still meant more to Kurt than any CD in the world.

He puts it in the player, smiling when the song he wants comes on right away. Blaine’s eyebrows raise as the opening notes of Teenage Dream fill the room.

“Why did you pick this song?” Blaine asks, taking a step toward him.

Kurt shrugs. “It spoke to me.”

Blaine smiles and his fingers go to his wedding band, fiddling with it. “This is the song I sang to my husband the first time we met.”

“Did you dance while you sang?” Kurt asks, giving him an encouraging smile.

Blaine laughs and nods. “It wasn’t exactly a complicated arrangement.”

“Show me.”

Blaine shakes his head, but gets into place. “Alright,” he begins to move side to side. “This is a very serious, complicated move. We called it the two-step.”

Kurt goes to his side and begins to imitate him. “Like this?”

Blaine nods. “Now,” as the chorus starts up, he points dramatically just as Katy sings “ _You_.” Kurt follows suit. Blaine brings his hand back to his heart, humming along.

“Slow down,” Kurt teases. “I can’t keep up.”

Blaine chuckles, continuing his adorable two step. “It’s easy,” he says, stopping the dance and going behind Kurt. “You just,” he places a hand on Kurt’s wrist and directs him to point forward, then brings the hand up to his heart. “See?”

Kurt nods, heart hammering in his chest. “Then what?”

Blaine steps away from him, smiling softly. “Then I hit him with one of these,” he instantly spins on the spot. A move that was once smooth and suave instantly turns disastrous as Blaine loses his footing and spins directly into Kurt’s arms.

Kurt’s hands go to Blaine’s waist, holding him tight and close. Blaine stares up into his eyes, lips slightly parted. “See?” he whispers. “I told you I wasn’t a good dancer.”

Kurt just shakes his head, not sure what to say. Blaine is so, so close, back in his arms where he’s meant to be. Katy Perry is still singing in the background, but all Kurt can see is Blaine, Blaine, Blaine, beautiful Blaine. Warm and soft against him, eyelashes long, pink lips just as plush as he remembers them. It’s been so long since he kissed those lips, and they’re right there, they’re _right there_ …

“Uh… Papa?”

“Yeah?” Blaine asks, distracted, still staring at Kurt. He blinks, then seems to come to awareness. Both men turn to look at Madison, who is staring at them with a mix of confusion and revulsion in her eyes.

“Madison,” Blaine says as they step apart. He then turns to Kurt. “I’m Madison’s dad, Kyle. And your teacher.”

Kurt nods. “Yeah, of course.”

Blaine shakes his head and marches to the stereo, turning the music off.

“Your, uh. Your date’s here,” Madison says, pointing vaguely toward the door. Blaine hurries off in its direction, leaving Kurt and Madison alone.

Kurt taps his fingers on his thigh before saying. “That was weird.”

“Yeah, a little bit,” Madison agrees.

Kurt purses his lips. “He’s so old,” he says. “Like, just…” he can’t even finish the sentence.

Madison gives him a strange look. “Kyle, are you-”

Kurt puts a hand up as a voice reaches his ears. A voice he hasn’t heard in decades. “Well, well, look who cleans up nice,” the voice says.

“No,” Kurt whispers, then makes a dash toward the door. _No, no, no, there’s no way, there no_ way _…_

He appears in the entrance of the house and, _fuck_. There he is. Just as smarmy looking as the last time Kurt saw him, hands wrapped around a bouquet of daisies, eyes roaming over Kurt’s husband as though he were a piece of meat.

“Oh, hey,” Sebastian Smythe grins at Kurt over Blaine’s shoulder. “I didn’t know you had three kids.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Kurt bursts.

Blaine spins on his heel and stares at him, mouth wide. “ _Kyle_.”

“This is a joke, right,” Kurt says, pointing at Sebastian. “You’re not actually going out with _him_ , are you?”

“Kyle!” Blaine shouts, but Sebastian shakes his head.

“It’s okay, Blaine. I get it. I’ve dated single dads before. I know it can be weird for a kid when their parent starts dating again, especially so soon after the divorce.”

Kurt says, “They aren’t divorced yet,” at the same time as Blaine says, “He’s not my son.”

Sebastian glances between them. “This is a little weird,” he tells Blaine. “If he’s not your son, then who is that kid?”

“That’s Kyle,” Blaine says. “He’s my ex’s stepbrother’s son.”

Sebastian raises an eyebrow. “Oh… kay?”

“Yeah,” Blaine nods. “Just, give me a minute?”

He turns to where Kurt is standing, shooting daggers in Kurt’s direction. Kurt isn’t about to let that stop him.

“Come on, Mr. A,” he says. “Are you serious? You’re seriously going from Uncle Kurt to _that guy_?”

“You are being incredibly rude, and you don’t even know him,” Blaine says, handing Kurt the bouquet of flowers. “Now, put these in some water, and then take this,” he grabs a folder off the small table next to where they’re standing, “to your father. Tell him to give it to Kurt, tell him it’s our divorce papers, and remind him that he has to be at court on December 7th, with those signed, okay? That’s in one week.”

He rushes off with Sebastian before Kurt can do anything to stop him. Sebastian turns to give him a confused look before he shuts the door behind him. Kurt is left standing in the entrance of his old house, divorce papers in hand, staring at the door his husband just walked out of with Kurt’s high school nemesis.

“Hey,” Madison pokes her head out into the entrance. “You okay, man?”

Kurt just continues staring at the front door because, no. He is most definitely, without a doubt, _not_ okay.


	13. Number & Ocean

Kurt barely gets any sleep that night, and by the time he’s sitting at his desk in Blaine’s class he feels like he might just fall asleep on the spot.

He couldn’t stop thinking about what Madison said. About the resentment she implied she felt from him. Any moment he wasn’t thinking about that he was thinking about Blaine out on a date with Sebastian fucking Smythe.

Of all people. Of everybody in all of Ohio, Blaine just _had_ to run into Sebastian, and Sebastian just _had_ to still be single (although, really, it wasn’t that surprising), and of course Sebastian would still try and get into Blaine’s pants after all these years. If at first you don’t succeed…

And then, of course, there were the divorce papers. Sitting on his night stand, waiting to be signed. The final proof that Kurt and Blaine’s marriage was actually over.

He groans and buries his face in his arms until Blaine shows up. Blaine looks tired as well, and he avoids looking at Kurt when he enters the room. Kurt resists the urge to groan.

Everything was going so well just a couple of days ago. How could everything have fallen apart so quickly?

_At least there’s still the audition for the solo at Invitationals…_

It’s that thought alone that gets him through the pain of being in Blaine’s presence the day after Blaine went out with Kurt’s high school enemy. Even if the reality of his marriage falling apart is finally smacking him in the face, right alongside the revelation that maybe he hasn’t really been a victim of circumstance after all, he still has music. He still has performing, he still has glee club, and he still has _New York_. He isn’t giving up on that just yet.

It feels like ten years have passed since Kurt entered Blaine’s classroom, but finally the bell rings and Kurt hurries to collect his things, for once not wanting to dawdle.

“Kyle,” Blaine says as Kurt stands up. “Could you stay back for a minute?”

Kurt nods and sits back down, watching with envy as his fellow classmates head to their next classes. He taps his fingers on the desk as he waits, chewing on his bottom lip and trying to keep his heart from shooting right out of his chest.

Finally the last student leaves and Blaine rests his hips against his desk. Kurt stands up and mimics Blaine’s position on his own desk.

“So,” Blaine wipes his hands on his thighs. “Yesterday was weird.”

Kurt nods. “Yeah.”

“Do you… have you met Sebastian before?”

Kurt purses his lips. He shrugs. “Kind of. He just goes into the Lima garage that my dad owns a lot. I’m there sometimes after school and I see him. He’s kind of a dick.”

Blaine nods, although his face tells Kurt that Blaine doesn’t believe him. “Okay.”

Kurt bites his bottom lip as they fall into an awkward silence. “Did you have a good date?” he finally asks.

Blaine nods again. “We’re going out again tomorrow night.”

Kurt just wishes the ground could swallow him whole. “That’s great, that’s great. Super. Super great, really great.”

“I just wanted to make sure everything was okay with you,” Blaine says, and Kurt’s eyes widen as he recognizes Blaine’s ‘parent’ voice. His ‘concerned adult’ voice. Kurt’s never had it directed at him before, and honestly, it’s a little unnerving. “You were acting so strange yesterday, I just wanted to check in. See if everything is… okay.”

Kurt looks at his feet. “Yeah, everything’s fine,” he glances up at Blaine and sees he’s raised one sceptical eyebrow. “Really. It’s…” he takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry, okay?”

Blaine’s scepticism instantly morphs into confusion. “What?”

“I said I’m sorry. I acted incredibly inappropriately yesterday, toward both you and Sebastian and… yeah. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

He scuffs his shoe against the ground and stares down at his lap. He doesn’t even want a hint as to what Blaine is thinking.

“Okay.”

Kurt glances up, cautiously. “Okay?”

“Okay. I accept your apology,” Blaine smiles. “As long as it doesn’t happen again. Because I _am_ your teacher and-”

“I know,” Kurt nods. “I – Wow. Um, thanks Mr. A.”

The second bell rings and Kurt startles. “I should, uh. Go to my next class.”

“You probably should,” Blaine agrees. Kurt watches Blaine watch him, sees a subtle fondness in his eyes that brings him hope. More hope than he had yesterday, at least.

“Hey,” he says, a sudden stroke of inspiration coming to him. “Do you need any help grading papers and stuff after school? Because I could totally give you a hand if you were looking for someone.”

Blaine gives him a cautious looks. “Kyle, we just talked about how-”

“I’m not trying to – I just have to put in my college applications soon, that’s all. My resume is kind of lame. I was thinking staying after school to help a teacher grade might look good on it.”

Blaine still looks suspicious, but he slowly nods his head in agreement. “Okay,” he says slowly. “Okay, you can help. But just grading papers.”

“Just grading papers,” Kurt assures, giving him a smile. “I have glee club today, but I could come by your office tomorrow? Help you out with whatever terrible essays your freshmen classes handed in?”

“That sounds great, Kyle,” Blaine smiles. “I would really appreciate that.”

Kurt grins. “Okay, I should really head to my next class,” he starts to walk out of the room. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Blaine nods. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Kurt hurries to his next class but still arrives late. Thankfully this teacher doesn’t care much and still lets him in, rolling her eyes as she does. Kurt doesn’t let it bring him down. He just bought himself a considerable amount of one-on-one time with Blaine. Maybe things aren’t as off-track as he thought they were.

**

The number he chooses to perform for his audition is Being Alive from Company. It’s the song he used to audition for the solo he was meant to sing at Nationals, and he’s hoping that Mr. Schuester will appreciate it as much now as he did back then.

They do the duet auditions first. It gets a little tiring after a while, hearing Roderick sing the exact same song five times in a row with five different companions, but Kurt still manages to pay attention to all of them and to clap for them all. Of course, he claps the loudest after Madison’s audition, which in his totally unbiased opinion is the best one. Madison blushes when they finish the duet and rushes off the stage. Kurt smirks at the way that Roderick watches her go. Maybe convincing Madison that going out with Roderick is a good idea won’t be so hard after all.

Finally it’s time for the solo auditions. Kurt’s been given the final spot, which he’s incredibly thankful for. His performance will the freshest in Schuester’s mind.

His only competition are Jane, Kitty, and Jock Spencer. Jane performs an acoustic version of some song that Mason and Madison were always singing back in 2027. Kitty sings a surprisingly non-sexual Stevie Wonder cover, and Jock Spencer makes up for her lack of sexuality by thrusting his hips and writhing around on stage to an old Adam Lambert number. Kurt moves backstage halfway through the performance, and watches the rest of the performance entirely unimpressed. When he’s done, Spencer walks past Kurt with a wink and an eyebrow wiggle that makes Kurt shiver uncomfortably. He really needs to tell this kid that he isn’t interested, like, at all.

Mr. Schuester calls him on stage, and Kurt is _ready_. He feels like he’s been ready for _years_. This is his moment. This is his fresh start.

He stands in the middle of the stage, nods at the band, then opens his mouth and sings.

**

Finn looks like he’s on cloud nine when Kurt gets home from school that day. Kurt feels pretty good too, having completely nailed his audition. Even Kitty reluctantly pulled him aside and congratulated him.

Madison, of course, gave him the biggest hug possible and told him he’d nailed it. Mason mumbled a “you did okay I guess” and then ran off to his girlfriend, stopping briefly to stare at Jane as she talked to Roderick about the auditions. If Jane noticed she didn’t let it show. Kurt was liking the girl more by the second.

“You look happy,” he greets Finn.

Finn grins. “Guess who came in to get her car looked at today?”

Kurt raises an eyebrow. “You were at the garage again? Isn’t the point of being the owner of all those garages that you don’t actually have to go in all the time?”

“You know we’re still short a manager at the one here, but that doesn’t matter,” he puts his hands on Kurt’s shoulders and leans down so that they’re eye to eye. “Rachel Berry came in to get her car checked.”

“Oh, god,” Kurt rolls his eyes. “You didn’t ask her to spank you again, did you?”

“No,” Finn continues grinning. “I talked to her like a normal person.”

“Did you.” It’s not a question. Kurt is entirely doubtful of Finn’s ability to speak to that woman like a normal human being.

“I did. In full sentences and everything. It was amazing.”

“I’m sure it was.”

“We’re going out on Friday.”

Kurt’s eyebrows shoot up at that. “Wait, what?!”

“Yeah. We were just talking, you know, like two normal adults do. I told her about this really good vegan restaurant I know – did you know she’s a vegan? – and the next thing I know we’re making plans to have dinner there on Friday!”

“Shit,” Kurt says, flabbergasted. “That… is really surprising.”

“I know, right?! Especially after I acted like such a tool when I got called in,” Finn shakes his head. “I pretty much wanted to drive to the coast and throw myself into the deepest part of the ocean after that.”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” Kurt says. “That was… pretty bad.”

“But she was totally cool! She said we should let bygones be bygones. I don’t even know what a bygone is, Kurt!”

“Also doesn’t surprise me,” Kurt smirks. Finn pushes his shoulder playfully and Kurt chuckles. “Well, I had a pretty good day too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! I had my solo audition for glee club _and_ I got Blaine to let me stay after school some days to help him grade. Plus Madison and I are closer than ever. All I have to do is get Mason to warm up to me and I’ll be golden!”

“That’s amazing, Kurt,” Finn says. “Looks like things really are working out for you after all, huh?”

Kurt’s mood briefly sinks as he thinks about Blaine on a date with Sebastian, Madison practically admitting that she hates him, the homophobia Blaine didn’t tell him about, the divorce papers sitting untouched on his nightstand.

His phone buzzes in his pocket and he’s quick to pull it out, wanting a distraction from the dark turn his thoughts are taking.

“Oh my god, it’s an email from Mr. Schue.”

“Mr. Schue?” Finn asks. “That guy’s still at McKinley?”

Kurt nods as he opens the email, heart beating in excitement, worries momentarily forgotten. “Madison and I are the only ones he sent it to!” he says, hands shaking a little as he beings to read. “ _Dear Kyle and Madison. I know it may seem a little pre-emptive, but I can’t pretend to deliberate any longer. Your performances were by far the best and I am very pleased to offer you the solos for this year’s Invitationals_. Oh my god, Finn!”

“You got it!”

“I got it!” he read the email again, grin growing as he does.

He got the solo. _He got it_.

His phone comes alive in his hands, Madison’s name flashing on the screen. He swipes and answers with, “Did you get the email?”

“Oh my god!” Madison screams into the phone. “We did it! We did it!”

“We did it!” Kurt screams back. Madison squeals and Kurt can’t help it. He squeals right along with her.

It’s really happening. This is only the first step toward what he’s always dreamed of. He’ll get a solo for Nationals, he’ll get into NYADA, and he’ll go to New York. Maybe he’ll even convince Madison to go with him; Mason too, if he can get him to warm up to him. He’ll win Blaine over during their after school grading sessions.

Yesterday it felt like everything was falling apart, but right now it feels like it’s all falling into place. Kurt squeals into the phone some more. He feels like his life has finally started.


	14. Passion

Kurt’s day passes in a blur. He emailed Mr. Schuester his song ideas the previous night, and woke up to a reply telling him to start practicing for Blackbird by The Beatles immediately. He’s spent most of his classes doodling lyrics from the song in his notebook instead of paying attention, and when he isn’t doodling he’s surreptitiously texting Madison about their joint excitement over singing at Invitationals.

They have a brief glee club meeting over lunch which basically consists of most of the students complaining that they won’t have enough time to practice before Invitationals on Friday. Kurt knows they will – he still remembers the year they literally flew to New York without having chosen a set list and then proceeded to write original songs within two days of the competition – so he simply tries his best to encourage everyone to practice instead of complain.

Madison and Roderick sound amazing. Kurt thought so yesterday during the auditions, and he still thinks so today. After they’ve run through their duet twice, Kurt sees Mason approach Madison, give her a giant bear hug, and tell her how proud he is of her. It’s the most he’s seen the twins interact at school and it makes him grin harder than he has all day.

He only gets to sing his solo once before the bell rings and everybody has to go back to class, but everybody applauds him after he does, and Mr. Schuester tells him that the song is definitely the right choice.

In Kurt’s not so humble opinion, things have been going quite well. And considering he gets to spend the next hour and a half alone with Blaine he can’t imagine them getting any better.

“Hey, Kyle,” Blaine greets when Kurt knocks on the door to his office. He’s got a huge stack of papers on his desk, and there’s a chair pushed close to the desk for Kurt to sit in. Kurt drops his bag next to the chair and falls into it, giving Blaine a smile as he does.

Blaine only looks slightly less put together than he did during second period. His bowtie is crooked, and a couple of curls have sprung free of his gel. Blaine always used to insist on taking a shower the second he got home from school, claiming he looked a mess, but Kurt always loved his slightly dishevelled after school look. He can’t remember if he ever told Blaine that.

“So this is a pop quiz I gave my freshman class today,” Blaine says, pushing the pile toward Kurt. “Here’s the answer key. I really appreciate you offering to help out.”

“Happy to do it,” Kurt says, giving him a smile as he pulls the answer key toward himself.

“Just ask me if you have any questions,” Blaine says. “I’m grading the essays for my other senior class, so I may get a little too… into it. If I don’t respond, just keep saying my name until I look up.”

Kurt smiles fondly, remembering the many times he’d had to literally place his hands on Blaine’s shoulder and tell him directly into his ear that it was time for bed. He never understood how Blaine could become so immersed in grading some shitty high school essays, but found it adorable nonetheless.

Everything Blaine did was adorable. Everything Blaine _does_ is adorable. Kurt keeps watching him even after Blaine has started working on his own grading, instantly focused on the task at hand.

With a sigh, Kurt begins his own work. It’s pretty simple, truth be told, and it feels so wonderful just to be in Blaine’s presence. It’s calming, having Blaine so close, and Kurt really wishes he could reach across the desk and hold Blaine’s hand as they work.

He can’t, of course. Blaine’s going on another date with Sebastian. Blaine and Kurt are getting a divorce. Also, Kurt is currently seventeen and technically Blaine’s student.

He settles for just being with Blaine, grading papers in silence. It’s wonderful. Kurt wishes he would have thought of this a week ago.

The more quizzes he grades, the more impressed he grows with Blaine’s teaching abilities. Because, really, there is no other explanation for how every single quiz he has graded so far has gotten over an 80%. Especially considering that this is a freshman class at _McKinley_. There’s no way the students are just naturally that smart.

Before Kurt knows it the graded pile has become far larger than the ungraded pile, and Kurt is writing a crisp 92 in red pen on the top of the last pop quiz. Every single student got above 80%. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard of anything like that. At least not in Ohio.

Kurt looks up at Blaine, sees how he deeply he’s focused on the essay he’s grading, only moving to scribble something on the page and push his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Kurt smiles and quietly says, “You’re an amazing teacher.”

Blaine freezes instantly. His pen drops onto the paper he’s reading and his eyes look up to find Kurt’s. Kurt is surprised that Blaine heard him at all, considering how focused he’d been on the essay. Still, he continues to smile as Blaine’s eyes meet his.

“What?” Blaine asks, voice barely a whisper.

“I just said that you’re an amazing teacher,” Kurt repeats, smile growing warms. “The way you care about your students, how focused you are on giving them fair grades. Every single student in your freshman class got over an 80% on this quiz, and I know that was because of you. You can really tell that teaching is your passion. It’s incredible. _You’re_ incredible Be- Mr. A.”

Blaine keeps staring at him, face expressionless. Kurt wonders if maybe he’s overstepped, if he shouldn’t have said anything.

Then, a tear escapes Blaine’s eye.

“Oh my god,” Kurt says, eyes widening. “I’m sorry, Mr. A. I didn’t mean – I was just trying to compliment you, I’m really sorry if I-”

“No, Kyle, stop,” Blaine says, another tear falling down his cheek. He wipes both tears away and sniffs. “I’m sorry if I freaked you out, it’s just… God, this is going to sound so stupid.”

“You could never sound stupid,” Kurt assures, struggling not to reach across the desk and take Blaine’s hand.

“You look so much like him,” Blaine whispers, swallowing thickly. “You sound like him, you even act like him sometimes. So to hear you saying that, after all these years of him resenting me for keeping him in Ohio, for resenting my career path because he thinks I could have done better… I’m sorry.” He sniffs again and wipes away more tears.

Kurt feels like a dagger just got plunged right into his heart.

“Your husband?” he asks, voice barely a whisper.

“This is so inappropriate,” Blaine says, shaking his head. “I’m really sorry, Kyle. You were just being nice to me, and-”

“He’s an idiot.”

Blaine looks just as surprised as Kurt feels by the words that just came out of his mouth. “What?”

“Your husband. He’s an idiot. If he can’t see how amazing you are, what a great teacher and father you are…” he shakes his head.

 _He’s an idiot_.

Blaine gives him a shaky smile. “He is,” he agrees, and Kurt wants to cry as well.

“I’m so sorry, Bee,” Kurt whispers to himself, looking away from Blaine. If this is the reaction Blaine has to somebody who he believes only looks and sounds like Kurt telling him he’s a good teacher… Has Kurt really never supported him? Has he never said so much as one kind word about Blaine’s chosen profession?

Of course he hasn’t. How could he, when Blaine’s chosen profession is what’s kept him from being on Broadway for the past twenty years?

“Did you say something?” Blaine asks, wiping his eyes under his glasses.

Kurt shakes his head. “I should probably leave,” he says. He isn’t sure if he can stay here with Blaine any longer without blurting out the entire truth. He wants to apologize to Blaine, to beg him for forgiveness, to promise to tell him how amazing he is over and over again for the rest of their lives. Because if this is Blaine’s reaction to a simple word of praise from a teenager who _looks_ like Kurt…

No wonder Blaine kicked him out. No wonder his children hate him.

“I’m sorry for being so…” Blaine waves a hand over his face. “I really appreciate you coming in.”

Kurt nods. “I can come in again on Monday, if you need me to.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Blaine replies. Kurt stands and picks up his bag. He pauses to look at Blaine for a few seconds, wondering if there’s absolutely anything he can do to make the man he loves feel even a hint of the regret and guilt rushing through his body.

There isn’t. Because right now, he isn’t Kurt. He’s Kyle. He’s Blaine’s daughter’s best friend. He didn’t do this to Blaine, and therefore there’s nothing he can do to make it better.

He leaves without another word, and thankfully is able to make it all the way to his car before the tears start falling.


	15. Question

Friday dawns bright and sunny, entirely opposite to Kurt’s mood.

He’s been in a funk since the incident with Blaine on Wednesday. Honestly, if it wasn’t for glee rehearsal he probably would have skipped school entirely on Thursday. As it is, he’s currently in a place where he knows his entire family life is basically doomed forever because he’s been such a fucking idiot. He can’t really afford to ruin his chances at going to New York as well. It’s pretty much all he has left at this point.

He still skips Blaine’s class that day. He just can’t bear the thought of seeing Blaine after realizing how badly he’s let him down. How badly he’s treated him over the past twenty years. He just couldn’t do it.

Because of Invitationals being at six, the members of New Directions have been excused from their afternoon classes so that they can rehearse some more. Kurt decides to skip his first few classes of the day as well, staying in bed until the very last possible moment.

The thing is, he wants to fix this. He wants to let Blaine know how amazing he thinks he is. How much he means to Kurt. How Kurt would do _anything_ to get him back. He just can’t figure out a way to do it in this body. As Kyle he can’t do anything.

It’s incredibly frustrating.

He drives to the school just as lunch time is ending and heads straight to the auditorium, where they’ll be practicing until the competition. Madison is instantly by his side, asking him if he’s okay since she didn’t see him at lunch. She says her Papa told her he’s been absent for the past couple of days in his class. Kurt tells her he was worried he was coming down with something, so he thought it best to stay home and rest so that he would be okay for tonight.

She doesn’t look like she buys it, but that doesn’t really surprise him. Madison’s always been able to call bullshit better than anyone else in the family.

They practice for hours, making up for all the time they spent not practicing before. The situation is so familiar to Kurt, but he still feels incredibly distant from it. He’s the star of the show, the choreography for Blackbird is literally made so that he stands out, but he can’t help but feel like he doesn’t belong. Like he isn’t supposed to be here.

He channels all of his pain over how deeply he’s hurt his husband and children into the song. Every time he sings it he thinks of when he sang it back in high school, at that Warblers meeting. He thinks of the way Blaine looked at him, like he’d just seen the sun rise for the first time. He remembers how nervous Blaine had been when he kissed Kurt that first time, how excited Kurt was that Blaine finally reciprocated his feelings.

He wonders how much happier Blaine would have been if he’d simply never realized his feelings for Kurt. If they’d never dated, never married. He wonders how much pain he would have saved Blaine if he’d never…

Soon enough it’s five thirty and people have started to arrive. For the first time Kurt starts to feel nervous; a feeling that increases tenfold when he peeks out from behind the curtain and sees Blaine sitting right in the front row, chatting with the woman sitting beside him.

Kurt knows Blaine isn’t here for him. He’s here for Mason and Madison, just as he’s always been. For as long as Kurt can remember, Blaine has always been the parent who goes to his kids events. Kurt…

Kurt’s been too busy feeling sorry for himself to realize how absolutely ridiculous he was being.

Before he realizes what’s happening the lights are flickering and Mr. Schuester is calling them all together for a show circle.

“Okay guys,” he says as they all gather around. “Remember, this isn’t a competition. There’s no other teams here, just us. Think of this more as a practice for Sectionals, as well as a way to show anybody for the other teams who may show up what we can do.”

“Oh, come on Mr. Schue,” Kitty rolls her eyes. “Why can’t you just tell us to kick some ass and be done with it?”

Kurt turns to her to tell her to shut up, but notices the teasing smile on her face. Mr. Schuester laughs and nods.

“Alright guys: kick some ass!”

Everybody cheers, including Kurt, and they all put their hand in the circle, shouting “Aaaaaamazing!” at the same time.

The lights flicker again and they all go to their cues. Madison and Roderick’s duet is first, and Kurt is one of the last to come out. They’ve decided to keep him in the back for this number, allowing him more of a chance to shine through when he breaks out of the formation for his solo.

The duet is fantastic. Even dancing in the background makes Kurt feel more energized than he has all week. He’s on stage again, he’s singing and dancing, he’s doing what he loves. For those two and a half minutes, none of what is happening in his life matters.

The song ends with the entire group standing in the center of the stage, clumped together. They stay in position long enough for people to applaud, smiling at each other in excitement.

The opening chord for Blackbird sound throughout the auditorium and Kurt takes a deep breath, readying himself for this.

The first line is sung from the back of the group.

 _Blackbird singing in the dead of night_.

The front row splits in two, each half heading to opposite sides of the stage.

 _Take these broken wings and learn to fly_.

The second row does the same, standing slightly behind the first group, though diagonally so that they are still seen.

 _All your life_.

The row in front of Kurt move aside as well, until finally only his row is left, him in the very center.

 _You were only waiting for this moment to arise_.

He steps forward and the rest of his group steps back in tandem. It’s perfectly timed, considering how little they’ve rehearsed, and Kurt feels like the titular Blackbird. He feels like he could fly right off this stage and straight to the bright lights of New York.

 _Blackbird singing in the dead of night_.

He steps forward again, eyes closing as he lets the music overtake him.

 _Take these sunken eyes and learn to see_.

His eyes open and fall to the front row where Blaine is sitting, staring up at Kurt with his mouth slightly ajar, eyes wide.

 _All your life_.

Kurt takes another step forward, closer to Blaine. He can’t take his eyes off Blaine, and it looks like Blaine is in a similar position.

 _You were only waiting for this moment to be free_.

And in that moment, lights on him, New Directions harmonizing in the background, Blaine staring at him in the exact same way he did at sixteen, Kurt really does feel free.

**

They receive a standing ovation. Kurt knows it isn’t a competition, knows there isn’t anybody there for them to compete against, but it feels like they’ve won.

“You were so good!” Madison shouts as she runs toward Kurt, throwing herself at him. Kurt spins her around with the momentum, laughing with joy as he does.

“So were you! You and Roderick sound amazing together!”

Madison pulls away, blushing. “I know, right?” she glances over to where Roderick is talking to Spencer. “I really felt a connection between us when we were singing on stage.”

“I think the entire audience felt the connection between you,” he winks. She ducks her head, but he can still see her smiling. “You should go talk to him.”

Madison shakes her head instantly. “No, no way. I don’t… I wouldn’t even know what to say.”

Kurt chews on his bottom lip, thinking.

Inspiration hits him, and before he can stop to give it a second thought he says, “Say ‘hey, do you want to come to Kyle’s party’?”

“Party?”

“Yep,” Kurt takes her hands and grins. “A celebration party, just New Directions. Fi – I mean, my dad, he’s out on a date tonight, so we’ll have the house all to ourselves.”

Madison deliberates for a second, but then nods. “That sounds really fun,” she says. “Can you… will you come with me to ask?”

He wants to coo over how adorable she is, his little girl all grown up, but instead he just nods firmly and starts in Roderick and Spencer’s direction.

Spencer sees them coming and instantly smirks. “Hey Madison,” he doesn’t even look at her. “Kyle,” his eyes run over Kurt’s body and Kurt has to resist the urge to grab his chin, force him to look him in the eyes, and say, “Do not ever look at me in that way again.”

“Spencer, Roderick,” Kurt greets as politely as possible. He nudges Madison, who swallows thickly.

“So, um. Kyle is having a party at his house,” she says, pointing at Kurt unnecessarily. “Do you guys want to come?”

Spencer continues staring at Kurt. “Do _you_ want us to come?” he asks, and Kurt has to fight against every part of his body which is begging to let him roll his eyes.

“Yeah, it’ll be fun,” he says through gritted teeth. “We’re hoping to get all of New Directions there.”

Spencer pouts. “What’s the fun in everyone being there? It could just be the four of us. You know, like a double date.”

Kurt’s eyes widen and he turns to Madison for help. She’s too busy making googly eyes at Roderick, who seems to be doing the exact same thing.

“It’s not really a party if it’s just four people,” Kurt says quickly. “I’m going to go invite everyone else. You’ll come, right?” this is aimed more at Roderick, who nods absently. “Okay, great. Madison can let you know my address,” and with that he runs away, hurrying to find other people to invite. A party with just him, Madison, Roderick and Spencer is _not_ something he wants to endure. Not even for Madison’s sake.

He manages to get a few more people to agree before he heads over to Mason and Kitty. Blaine is with them, hugging Mason and telling him how wonderful he was. Mason is grinning and hugging Blaine back. Kurt aches for such a hug from his son.

“Hey, Mason,” he says, trying to sound as casual as possible with Blaine right there. “Um, I’m having a celebration party at my house. Just us glee kids. You in?”

Mason raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “A party at _your_ house? No thanks.”

Blaine shrieks, “Mason!” as soon as he says it, to which Mason rolls his eyes.

Surprisingly, Kitty loops an arm through Mason’s and says, “Oh, come on, honey. It’ll be fun! We never do anything fun.”

Kurt thinks back to the make out session he witness in the hallway a couple of days ago, begging to differ. He says nothing though, really wanting Mason to attend.

“How late will this party be going?” Blaine asks, sounding just as awkward about Kurt being there as Kurt feels.

He shrugs. “Um. Not that late. Probably eleven, twelve at the latest.”

“Will there be drinking?”

Kurt shakes his head. “Of course not.”

Blaine turns to Mason and says, “Well, I don’t see why you shouldn’t go. It sounds like you’ll have a good time. Just make sure you and your sister are back by curfew, okay?”

Mason nods, rolls his eyes at Kurt, and leads Kitty away. Kurt is left alone with Blaine, which is far more awkward than it should be.

“Are you, uh. Are you feeling better?” Blaine asks. Kurt looks up at him, raising a questioning eyebrow, then remembers he’s been MIA from Blaine’s class for a couple of days. He nods.

“Yeah, I think it was a twenty-four hour thing. I’m just glad I was well enough to perform tonight.”

Blaine purses his lips. “You were really good,” he says. “That song… it’s always held a special place in my heart.”

“Mine too,” Kurt whispers.

“Really? It’s a bit before your time,” Blaine says, and Kurt can tell he’s going for teasing. He shrugs.

“It’s a bit before your time too, Mr. A.”

Blaine smiles softly. “Touché.”

They stand in silence for a couple more seconds before Blaine says, “I should go find Madison before she disappears. Tell her how amazing she was.”

“Yeah, you should go do that,” Kurt says, stepping out of his way.

Blaine gives him a tight smile and says, “You really were very good, Kyle.”

“Thank you, Mr. A,” Kurt replies, blushing and looking at his feet. Blaine touches a hand to his arm gently for a moment, then walks off to find Madison.

Kurt swallows thickly as he watches him go. After everything Kurt has put him through, all the resentment he’s no doubt made him feel, and Blaine is still the kindest, sweetest man. He’s still being kind to Kyle, who’s been nothing but inappropriate toward him. He stayed with Kurt for probably fifteen years longer than he should have. He continued to teach at a school where he was faced with homophobia from his students.

Nothing can break Blaine. Not even Kurt. He’s absolutely incredible.

Kurt doesn’t think he’s ever loved Blaine more than he does in this exact moment.


	16. Regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING for two uses of the c-word

About an hour into the party, it begins to occur to Kurt that there are way more people here than just the members of New Directions. He’s definitely seen some jocks milling about, as well as several cheerleaders, as well as about one hundred kids he’s never seen before.

There’s definitely more than just New Directions here.

He finds Madison chatting with Roderick in the kitchen and pulls her aside. “Did you invite anybody else to come?”

She shakes her head. “Did you not invite all these people?”

Kurt groans. “Oh my god, Finn is going to kill me.”

She raises an eyebrow. “You call your dad Finn?”

“Only when he’s going to kill me.” She chuckles, and he shakes his head, clearing the thoughts of how out of control this party has gotten from his head. “How’s it going with Roderick?”

She grins. “Really well. I feel like we’re really connecting, you know? Ever since the duet.”

Kurt smirks. “Are you going to ask him out?”

She blushes and looks away. “I don’t know, Kyle. I mean, I’m still a cheerleader and he’s still the lead of glee club. Plus, I don’t even know if he likes me…”

“Oh my god, Madison, stop,” he puts his hands on her shoulder. “Who gives a shit if he’s just the lead of glee club and you’re a cheerleader. I’m not a cheerleader and you hang out with me, right?” She nods. “So what’s the difference? If people have a problem with it, who cares? You’re still going to have all your friends from glee, a family that really loves you, me, obviously, plus you get a cute boyfriend to boot!”

Madison picks at her nails and whispers, “What if we go out for a bit and then he realizes that I’m terrible and breaks up with me?”

“In what universe are _you_ terrible?” he asks, flabbergasted.

She shrugs, still not looking at him. “I don’t know. Ever since Mason started going out with Jane and then Kitty he hasn’t really had that much time for me. And my Dad…” she sighs heavily and looks far off. “You know how excited you were as a kid to do those dumb school Christmas plays, and how great it felt to see your parents there front and center?”

Kurt nods, chest feeling hollow.

“Well, it was always Papa there. Every time Mason or I did something, whether it was a performance, or a sport event, or anything, it was just Papa. Dad _never_ came to _anything_. I know sometimes it was because he had to work, but a lot of times he didn’t. He just didn’t care enough to come. And ever since they separated I’ve seen my Dad a grand total of one time. _Once_. Even today, I texted him three times about having a solo for Invitationals and he didn’t even bother to text me back. This isn’t a recent thing, it’s always been like that. What else am I supposed to take out of that other than I’m terrible and he hates me?”

Kurt shakes his head before she even finishes talking. “No, Madison, _no_ ,” he pulls her into his arms and she buries her head into his shoulder. He squeezes her as tight as he can, wishing with all his might that this one hug could erase everything he’s done.

They pull apart and he takes her face in his hands, holding it up so that she has to look into his eyes. “Listen to me. You are the most incredible girl I have ever had the privilege to know. You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re ridiculously talented, and you love _so much_.” She smiles, but Kurt can see the tears pooling in her eyes. “You aren’t the one who’s terrible, okay?”

“But he-”

“He’s a fucking moron,” Kurt insists, knowing that even that isn’t harsh enough to describe how absolutely incredible stupid he’s been. “Anybody who doesn’t realize how absolutely amazing you are can’t be anything else.”

Madison smiles, tears in her eyes. “I’m really glad you moved out here to be with your dad, you know that?”

Kurt pulls her closer again and kisses her on the temple. “I’m really glad too.”

**

People have migrated to the back yard, meaning there is currently music being blasted at top volume outside, there are fully dressed teenagers in his pool, and Kurt is pretty sure he saw a couple having sex against the side of the house.

“I’m so dead,” he whispers as he stands on the balcony, looking over his ‘small get together’.

Madison and Roderick are outside now too, chatting happily at the end of the porch. Kurt smiles as he watches them.

Someone bumps into him and he turns just in time to see Jane say, “Sorry,” and then hurry off. He frowns as he watches her go, one of her hands coming up to wipe at her face. Curious, he turns to go inside the house but instead is run into yet again.

This time he manages to put his arms on the person, the girl, before she can run away. “Hey, whoa,” he says.

Kitty looks up at him, tears in her eyes. “Oh, great. _You_ ,” she sneers. “Exactly who I wanted to see right now.”

Kurt frowns and glances in the direction Jane left. “What the hell is going on right now? Did I just see Jane crying?”

“Why the hell would she be crying?!” Kitty hisses. “He just totally rejected me for her, so why the fuck would she-”

She dissolves into tears, arms going around Kurt’s neck as she cries into his shoulder, and Kurt slowly wraps his arms around her, entirely confused.

He pats her on the back. “Um. Did something happen with Mason?”

She nods against him and keeps crying. Kurt continues to pat her on the back, not entirely sure what else to do.

Finally she pulls away and sniffs, wiping at her tears. “You knew, didn’t you?”

He frowns. “What?”

She shakes her head. “Of course you knew, everyone knew. Hell, even _I_ knew. But I still let him use me like that, I let him play games with me _and_ with her, and what’s worse is that I totally fell for it.”

Inference begins to give Kurt an idea as to what might be going on. “What did Mason do?” he asks, a hint of anger building inside of him.

Kitty sniffles some more. “It’s my own fault,” she says, shaking her head. “He told me that he just wanted to keep things casual. That he was – was saving himself for love,” she rolls her eyes at that. “I thought tonight could be special, you know? We’ve been going out for two months now and-”

“Oh, Kitty, _no_.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she spits. “He didn’t want to. I got on my knees like a fucking idiot, and the next thing I know he’s pushing me away and Jane is barging in and-” she bursts into tears. “I just wanted to be intimate with my boyfriend! Why is that so wrong?!”

“It’s not,” Kurt is quick to assure, “It’s not, Kitty, I’m sorry. Mason is…” he can’t quite think of the word.

“He’s still in love with Jane, is what he is,” Kitty mutters. “Which I really wish someone would have told me about before I put the moves on him like the fucking idiot that I am.” She shakes her head. “I hope she never forgives him. I hope she stays mad at him forever. He doesn’t deserve to be happy after what he did to us. He deserves to be as miserable as I am.”

“Kitty,” he puts his hands on her shoulder. “What Mason did was absolutely terrible. There’s literally no excuse for the way he played games with you and Jane. But do you want to know something else?” she looks up at him, a curious frown on her face. “He’s just a dumbass teenage boy.”

“So that excuses it?” she shrieks.

“No. It doesn’t. It doesn’t even explain it. I don’t think anything can explain why he would pull such a stupid stunt,” Kurt shakes his head, thinking of the words he’s going to be having with his son in the near future. “It means that he’s nowhere near worth the pain you’re feeling right now. Kitty, you are so talented and driven. You’re going to go places. You’re going to meet so many men who will literally fall at their knees for the chance to share a second of your time. You’re going to move far away from this town, and you’re going to become some high powered executive, or CEO, or lawyer, or doctor, or _whatever_. Your life is going to be incredible, and one day you’re going to look back at today and think ‘man, why did I waste a second of my time on that stupid teenage boy’?”

She blinks up at him, eyes red and puffy and lips slightly parted. “Why are you doing this?” she asks. “I thought I was a fucking cunt.”

Kurt can’t help but smile a little at that. “Well, you may be a bit homophobic, and a little bit of a cunt, but… well, you still deserve to know how unimportant that idiot Mason is in the grand scheme of your life.”

She smiles softly, then looks away. “I’m not actually homophobic,” she says quietly. “I just said those things to piss you off. I know you’ve got a huge crush on Mr. A and I knew it would get you to fly off the handle.”

“I _don’t_ have a-”

She rolls her eyes. “Please, Kyle. Even I can tell and I don’t even like you that much.”

Kurt blushes, but doesn’t reply.

“I shouldn’t have said those things,” Kitty says. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t cool to pull that shit on you. Especially since you’re, well, kind of a cool guy.”

“You know you’re not so bad yourself,” Kurt teases. Kitty rolls her eyes again, then takes a step back from him.

“I think I’m gonna go,” she says, glancing around. “I don’t really feel in the mood to party anymore.”

“Understandable,” Kurt says.

Kitty smiles. “Thanks for not being an asshole about this, Kyle. I know I haven’t exactly been nice to you.”

He shrugs. “I haven’t exactly been nice to you either. Call it square?”

She nods and extends a hand. He shakes it firmly. “Square.”

She starts to walk away after that and Kurt watches her go. He thinks maybe he’s been wrong all this time to consider Jane a far better option for Mason than Kitty. All this time he’s made the assumption that Mason was far above Kitty, but really…

He shakes his head and heads into the house. He needs to find that dumbass he calls a son.

**

It takes him a good ten minutes of looking through the house before he finally finds Mason curled up against a wall in Kurt’s room, his face buried in his knees, which he’s holding up to his chest.

“Hey,” Kurt greets, and Mason looks up for a brief second before placing his face back into his knees. It’s long enough for Kurt to notice that he’s been crying.

“God, of course it’s you. What, are you here to tell me that this is what I get for being indecent in public? That this is my punishment for inflicting my stupidity upon the entire school?”

“No,” Kurt says. “Although the stupidity part… yeah, that I will probably tell you. Because this whole mess was incredibly fucking stupid.”

Mason snorts, resting his cheek on his knees so that he’s looking away from Kurt. Kurt settles onto the floor beside him.

“Why did you do this, Mason?” Kurt asks. “What could have possibly made you think this was a good idea?”

Mason shrugs. “I broke up with Jane about a month into my dads’ separation. I overheard Aunt Tina telling my Papa that-”

“The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else,” Kurt grits out. He _knew_ this was Tina’s fault.

“And, well, I didn’t want to actually _do_ that, but I thought, well, I don’t know, maybe if Jane _thinks_ that I am-”

Kurt shakes his head. “And why on earth did you think that was a good idea?”

“I don’t know,” Mason shrugs. “It always seems to work on TV and stuff.”

Kurt rolls his eyes. “Real life isn’t TV, bud.”

“Tell me about it,” Mason mumbles.

They sit in silence for a few minutes. Mason starts crying quietly, and Kurt puts an arm around him, pulling him close. For a second Mason tenses up, and Kurt is worried that he’ll pull away, but he doesn’t. Instead he relaxes in Kurt’s hold and rests his head on Kurt’s shoulder.

“I just want her to understand that what she saw-” Mason shakes his head. “Kitty and I never _did_ anything. Not like that, you know? It was never like that between us.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Kurt says. “What matters is that you hurt her. You hurt _them_. And right now all you need to do is apologize.”

“No, I need to make Jane understand-”

“ _No_ ,” Kurt says, “You need to apologize for trying to play mind games with her, and then you need to apologize to Kitty for sucking her into this mess.”

“But I-”

“Look,” Kurt says, squeezing Mason’s shoulder. “I know you don’t want to hear this, especially not now, but you’re the one in the wrong here. You’re not going to make Jane understand _anything_ until you apologize to her _and_ to Kitty.”

Mason doesn’t respond for a while, and Kurt can hear him quietly sniffling.

“I know,” he says quietly.

Kurt turns to him, surprised. “What?”

“You’re right,” he sits up a little bit, though not enough to remove Kurt’s arm from around him. “I’ve been a jackass. If Jane never takes me back… I deserve it. I deserve Kitty hating me forever, too. The way I treated her, the way I treated both of them…” he shakes his head. “I don’t even know why I did all this. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now that it’s blown up in my face…”

“You realize how absolutely, ridiculously stupid it was?” Kurt asks, and Mason glares at him.

“Aren’t you supposed to be comforting me, or something? All you’ve done since you got here is tell me what a jackass I am.”

“Well, you have to hear it from someone, and you already don’t like me,” Kurt says, smirking. Mason rolls his eyes, then sighs.

“It’s true though,” Mason admits. “I am a jackass. If I could take it all back…” he trails off, shaking his head.

Kurt sighs heavily. “Yeah. I get what you mean. I’m not exactly a stranger to regret at the moment.”

Mason looks up at him and raises an eyebrow. “Really? Saint Hudson has done something he regrets?”

Kurt smiles at the nickname. “More than I can count,” he says. Then he elbows Mason’s side and says, “And, for the record, I’m not a total prude like you seem to think.”

“Oh really?” Mason asks, raising both eyebrows this time.

“Yep,” Kurt pops the ‘p’. “I’ve had sex at least two times in my life.”

Mason laughs at that, a sharp, loud sound, and Kurt smiles at the sound. He hasn’t made his son laugh in so long.

Mason doesn’t laugh long though. “I haven’t,” he says quietly.

“Haven’t had sex twice?” Kurt asks, trying to maintain the teasing tone. Mason shakes his head, face entirely serious.

“Haven’t had sex _once_.”

Kurt purses his lips. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Mason snorts. “Guess you could call me Saint Anderson-Hummel, huh?”

“I would never do that,” Kurt says, smiling. Mason doesn’t return the smile. Kurt squeezes his shoulder tighter. “Why not?”

Mason shrugs. “It just hasn’t felt right. I know Kitty wanted to, and I think Jane did too, but I just…” he buries his face in his hands. “God, this is so embarrassing. What teenage boy doesn’t have sex even if he has the opportunity?”

“This teenage boy,” Kurt says, smiling softly at Mason. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Mason. I was a virgin when I was your age too.”

Mason rolls his eyes. “You’re like, a year older than me.”

Kurt winces. “Uh, yeah. But still, it’s true.”

Mason sighs. “I just want it to be special, with someone I really love. I…” he sighs again, more forlorn. “I thought I could love Jane, but it looks like she couldn’t love me.”

“You don’t know that,” Kurt whispers.

“Why else would she have broken up with me?” he asks. “She obviously didn’t like me enough, and now in my dumbass effort to get her back I’ve just pushed her away more. God, and now she thinks that Kitty and I…” he buries his face in his knees again. “I don’t think a mere apology is going to cut it this time around.”

“Do it anyway,” Kurt says. “Apologize. Offer to explain the situation to her. Apologize again. You know, Mase, if I had the opportunity, I would apologize to your father over, and over-”

“What?” Mason asks, face instantly a mask of confusion.

“What?” Kurt repeats.

“My father?” Mason narrows his eyes. “Like, my Papa?”

“Did I say father?” Kurt asks, feeling sweat bead on his forehead. “Wow, that’s weird. Talk about a Freudian slip, huh?”

Mason raises an eyebrow, and Kurt sighs. “Look, Mason. I know right now this feels like the be-all-end-all. But I promise it’s not. You and Jane might get back together, you might not, but that doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you do your best to make up for what you did wrong. After that the ball’s in her court. If she doesn’t forgive you, hey, that’s on her.”

Mason bites his lip. “What if she does forgive me but still doesn’t take me back?”

Kurt shrugs and says, “Well, no offense, but you kind of deserve it.”

Mason barks out another laugh, and Kurt smiles. “Thanks, Kyle,” he says. “You know, considering what a dick you are, you’re actually not that bad a guy.”

Kurt laughs softly and pulls Mason closer. “Eh. I’ll take it.”


	17. Shift

An hour later things are really starting to get out of hand. Kurt is beginning to worry that somebody snuck alcohol in somehow, because it seems that the later the night gets, the rowdier the crowd becomes.

The pool is an absolute mess, almost everybody having moved outside at this point despite the chilly weather. Kurt has no idea how the people in the pool aren’t freezing their asses off. Maybe it’s the suspected alcohol.

Kurt is sitting on the edge of the porch, watching as Madison and Roderick continue to talk, the same way they have been all evening. Every time that Madison laughs at something Roderick says, Roderick can’t seem to believe his luck. Kurt can’t help but smile at that. He really does think that Roderick would make a wonderful first boyfriend for his daughter.

Mason’s rejoined the party as well, and is currently sitting on the edge of the pool, feet dipped in the water, chatting with a few of his fellow cheerleaders. He seems to be having a decent time, considering the circumstances.

Kurt’s been having a pretty decent time too. The largest majority of his time has been spent trying to avoid Spencer, who for some reason seems to think that Kurt and Madison invited him and Roderick to the party because Kurt wanted him there, not because Madison wanted Roderick there. Every now and then he’ll feel fingers low on his back, or a voice in his ear saying, “Great party, huh?” and he has to hurry to make his escape before the boy gets the wrong idea.

Sitting in his room while Mason calmed down offered him a small reprieve, but now he really has no excuses. He really should just reject the boy outright, but in order to reject him he needs to deal with the fact that a seventeen year old is hitting on him.

He _really_ doesn’t want to deal with that.

Speaking of which, Kurt’s eyes widen as he spots Spencer milling about the pool. He scurries up before the boy can see him too, scrambling to find a hiding spot inside the house.

He almost runs over Blaine in his effort to do so.

Hands steady him as he loses his balance, and Blaine chuckles as he holds Kurt up straight. “Whoa, easy there,” he teases. Kurt’s heart skips a beat when he’s finally steady, faced with Blaine staring at him head on, his hands still on Kurt’s shoulders.

“Mr. A,” Kurt breathes. “What are you doing here?”

Blaine releases his hold on Kurt and says, “It’s past midnight. I figured you guys must be having a good time, but Mason and Madison really do need to get home.”

Kurt glances behind him, sees Madison shuffling closer to Roderick, sees a cheerleader splash a laughing Mason, and then grabs Blaine’s wrist and drags him inside the house.

“They can’t leave yet,” he says as he leads Blaine to the stairs.

“Kyle, what the hell are you-?”

“Just trust me,” Kurt says as he continues to lead Blaine up the stairs and to the balcony. They’re the only two up there, and Kurt brings Blaine to the edge.

He points to each of their kids. “See that guy Madison is talking to? That guy could very well be her boyfriend soon. And see Mason? Just an hour ago he was crying in my room because he’s been such an idiot. Look how much fun he’s having now.”

Blaine sighs and leans against the railing. “They do look happy,” he says wistfully. “Honestly, I don’t think I’ve seen them look this happy since their Dad left.” He turns to look at Kurt and gives him a soft smile. “You’re good for them, you know? Or, at least good for Madison. You’ve been a great friend for her.”

“She’s been a great friend for _me_ ,” Kurt says, moving a little bit closer to Blaine. “She’s a great kid. They both are, really. You… you’re a great dad, Mr. A.”

Blaine smiles at him again, eyes lingering on Kurt’s. “Thank you, Kyle,” he says softly. “And hey, I’m glad you’re feeling better. I was worried you’d still be sick come Monday and I’d have to grade all my sophomore tests by myself.”

Kurt grins. “As if I’d leave you high and dry,” he says. The words leave a pang in his chest and his smile falls as he remembers how many times he actually _has_ left Blaine high and dry. How many events he’s promised to go to and then pulled out last minute because he decided to throw himself a pity party instead. How many events he’s decided not to attend because he couldn’t stand the thoughts of the life he could have lived. The fact that his own husband didn’t feel comfortable telling him that he was having issues with homophobia…

“Hey, you okay?” Blaine nudges him. “Sorry to bring up school at your party. I’m sure it’s the last thing you want to talk about on a Friday night.”

Kurt shakes his head, then turns to look at Blaine and bites his lip. “Why do you like it here?”

Blaine’s eyebrows shoot up. “Excuse me?”

“I just… you’re such a great teacher. Probably the best teacher I’ve ever had. You could be teaching famous people’s children, or making hundreds of thousands a year as some high up professor at an Ivy League college. I don’t understand why you’d choose to stay in Lima, Ohio, and at McKinley. Especially if what Miss Berry said about homophobia is true.”

Blaine turns away from him, staring out at the party. “You sound like my ex,” he says quietly. His lips curve up in a bittersweet smile. “He never really understood it either. Why stay in Ohio when we could go to New York?”

Kurt swallow thickly. “I’m sorry if I’m overstepping.”

Blaine shakes his head. “You aren’t. It just isn’t an easy question to answer.” He continues to stare out at the party pensively.

After what feels like hours he says, “I never really connected to any of my teachers in high school.”

“What?” Kurt asks, brows furrowing together. As far as he can remember, Blaine was the apple of every teacher’s eye. The ideal student. They all loved him.

“I guess it just always felt like they were only in it for the pay check. They didn’t really care if I succeeded or if I failed. All that mattered was that they got paid and got a three month summer vacation every year.”

Kurt purses his lips to keep himself from speaking. He doesn’t want to interrupt in any way.

“When I realized I wanted to be a teacher it was because I’d been helping _my_ teacher do some grading. You know him, Will Schuester.” Kurt nods. “I remember there was one kid in his history class that could never get over a sixty-seven. You could tell he tried, but he just couldn’t do it.” Blaine smiles to himself. “Then one day I was grading one of his tests and he got a seventy-five. I felt so _proud_ of him. Of this kid I’d never even met, who I’d probably passed in the hallway dozens of times but never noticed. I just felt so happy that he’d finally done it.

“I wanted to keep feeling that. I wanted to be someone who made it easy for people to learn. I wanted to read all of my students first assignments, compare them to their final assignments, and just bask in how much they’d accomplished over the year.” He turns to look at Kurt and smiles. “That’s why I stayed in Ohio. That’s why I stay at McKinley. Because sure, like my husband has told me many times, there are schools in New York. But those kids… Those kids already have teachers like that. They already have teachers who want to help them. Who want them to improve.” He nods at the kids down by the pool. “These kids don’t.”

Kurt shuffles closer to him again, so close that their shoulders are touching. “That’s… wow,” he says, sliding his fingers over the railing so that their pinkies touch. If Blaine notices he doesn’t react.

Instead, he chuckles. “You know, it’s funny,” he says, looking up at the sky. “Before, I said you sound like my husband. But you don’t at all.”

Kurt has to swallow down his nerves as he asks, “How come?”

Blaine turns to him, and his eyes shine as brightly as the smile on his face. “Because he’s never once asked me that question.”

Kurt’s heart is practically jumping out of his chest. Blaine is right there, so close, and Kurt _gets it_. For the first time in his entire life, he really, truly understands.

Without thinking he leans forward and connects his lips with Blaine’s.

It feels like coming home, having Blaine’s lips against his again. He hasn’t kissed Blaine in months, what feels like centuries, and he never wants to stop.

The kiss comes to an end far too soon, Blaine pulling away with wide eyes, face shocked and confused.

They stare at each other for several seconds, then Blaine steps back and heads back into the house.

Kurt hurries to follow him, shouting, “Wait, Blaine!”

“I knew this was going to happen,” Blaine mutters. “I knew that you… I should have put more distance between us, I should have-”

“No, Blaine, listen,” Blaine is already jogging down the stairs and Kurt hurries to catch up to him. “You need to let me explain.”

“I’ve tried to tell you, so many times, that I’m your _teacher_ , that I’m Madison’s father, but did that stop you?”

They reach the bottom of the stairs and Kurt reaches out and grabs Blaine’s arm, pulling him around so that he stares at him. “Bee, if you would just _listen to me_.”

“Don’t call me that!” Blaine shouts, pulling his arm away. “ _Don’t_ call me that.”

“Please, Bee, it’s _me_ ,” Kurt gestures to himself wildly. “It’s Kurt, it’s your _husband_.”

Blaine shakes his head and continues rushing out of the house. Kurt tries to follow him but is stopped when Madison steps in his way.

“What the hell?” she asks, hands on her hips. “Did you just kiss my Papa?”

“Madison,” he puts his hands on her shoulders. “Listen to me. You have to tell your Papa that-”

She pushes him away, shaking her head. “You know, I trusted you?” she says, continuing to walk backwards. “I thought you were actually my friend. Not just some weirdo pervert.”

“ _No_ , Madison, _please-_ ”

Mason is suddenly there too, an arm around Madison and his other hand pushing Kurt back. “You need to stay away,” he says. “You fucking freak.”

“Mason, please, you need to let me _explain-_ ”

“There’s nothing to explain!” he shouts. “You just kissed our dad, you asshole,” he shakes his head. “I can’t believe I actually thought you were a decent guy. You creep.”

Kurt tries to take a step closer, “ _Please_ ,” he says desperately. “Please, Mason, Madison, if you could just give me two seconds to explain-”

“What the hell is going on in here?”

Kurt freezes as he looks past Mason and Madison to see Finn and Miss Berry standing in the doorway. Finn looks like he wants to murder someone, and Miss Berry looks entirely mortified.

“Kurt!” Finn shouts, and Kurt sees Madison frown. “I swear to _fuck_ , Kurt, if you threw a fucking party-”

“Kurt?” Madison asks. “But, you-”

“We need to leave,” Mason tells her, pulling her away.

Kurt watches wordlessly as they go, pushing past Finn and Miss Berry, who are working together to get everybody out of the house. He stays frozen in place as they disappear just as Blaine had, leaving Kurt behind. He continues to stare even as Miss Berry lets out the shrillest, but also strongest, “ _Hey_ ,” he’s ever heard, and then informs the students that if they don’t leave immediately they will spend the next three months in detention. He can’t move even as everybody rushes past him in their efforts to escape.

He ruined it. He ruined everything.

Again.

And this time, he doesn’t think there’s anything he can do to fix it.


	18. Time

Despite how absolutely furious Finn is with him (“I was going to have sex, dude. With _Rachel_.”), he thankfully still lets him sleep in until noon. It’s a blessing, really, considering he wasn’t able to fall asleep until well past three in the morning, a problem he hasn’t had since this entire ordeal started.

At noon exactly Finn bursts into the room and tells him to get his ass up because he is cleaning the house. He’s hired a company to clean the backyard, as that is the part that was most out of control, but he’s insisted that Kurt at least help clean up the inside of the house. Seeing as this party was technically his fault, and all that.

Kurt has never felt less like doing house work in his life. He can’t stop seeing Madison and Mason looking at him like the most disgusting human on the planet. He can’t stop hearing Blaine shouting at him not to call him ‘Bee’. He can’t stop the image of Blaine walking away from him running through his mind over and over again.

None of it mattered. The friendships, the bonding, the revelations. It didn’t matter at all. Kurt is right back where he was before this entire ordeal. His kids still hate him, his husband is still leaving him. It didn’t matter at all.

Kurt tries to block out these thoughts as he vacuums the entire house, but they continue to creep in, time and time again. Every time he thinks he’s finally gotten rid of them they pop back, reminding him of what a terrible husband, father, and all around human being he is. He doesn’t even know how long he’s been cleaning – all he knows is that he’s thought of Blaine walking out the door over fifty times, and of Mason and Madison leaving after him almost as many times.

“Okay,” Finn claps his hands together to get his attention and Kurt turns off the vacuum. “I think you’ve made a pretty good headway. You can take a break from your punishment now.”

Kurt rolls his eyes, but still props the vacuum cleaner up against the wall and then falls onto one of the sofas. “You know you aren’t actually my dad, right?”

Finn shrugs. “And you’re not actually a teenager, but I still came home to a rager last night, so.”

Kurt sighs but doesn’t reply. He glances off to the side, once again thinking of Blaine walking out the door. If he had just kept his lips to himself…

“I actually wanted to talk to you about something,” Finn says. He sits down across from Kurt and leans forward. “So, as you know I’ve been working at the Lima garage a lot lately because of Bailey moving to Wisconsin.”

Kurt nods. “Yeah, I know.”

“Well, the thing is that Christmas time is coming around. I try and make it to the staff party of every single Hummel Tires and Lube across the country. It’s kind of my way of showing my employees that I care about them, you know?”

“Okay,” Kurt raises an eyebrow.

“So I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to reconsider taking the job.”

Kurt’s eyes widen. “What-”

“Look, I saw Mason and Madison leave last night. They looked pissed. And I’m pretty sure I saw Blaine storming off as well. Obviously things aren’t going how you thought they’d be going.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m giving up,” Kurt says, shaking his head. “I just need more time, Finn, I just need to explain to them what’s going on.”

“Kurt, I know you’re trying to be optimistic, but dude. Everything’s a mess. Your family still hates you. And yeah, you got that solo, but chances are-”

“Yes,” Kurt snaps his fingers and points at Finn. “I got that solo. I still could…” he trails off. His thoughts are overrun by the reminders of what this kind of thinking has brought him. Everything got messed up because he refused to give up his dream.

At the same time, what else does he have left?

“I could still sing at Nationals,” he finishes, after taking a deep breath. “I could still get into NYADA. I could still go to New York.”

“So, what,” Finn frowns. “You’re just going to relive your entire senior year? You’re going to slug your way through an entire year of high school because you _might_ get into that fancy college?”

That honestly sounds like torture. Seeing his family every day and knowing how they feel about him…

He shakes his head. “No. I won’t. If… If Mr. Schuester doesn’t give me a solo for Sectionals I’ll pull out. I’ll drop out of school and I’ll take that job at the garage. I swear, Finn. I just need more _time_.”

Finn gives him a considering look, then nods. “Okay, fine. But when you do you’re working the first week for free to pay me back for the team I had to hire to clean up your mess,” he points to the backyard, and Kurt chuckles and nods.

“Deal,” he says, nodding. “But not until after Sectionals.”

Finn raises his hands defensively. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll hold off the death sentence for a couple of weeks.”

Kurt freezes. His eyes widen and his heart stops. _Sentence_.

“Shit,” he shouts, jumping to his feet. “What day is it today?”

Finn pulls out his phone to check. “December 7th.”

“ _Shit_ ,” Kurt shouts again. He starts walking out of the room, shouting back, “What time is it?”

“It’s two thirty.”

“Fuck!” Kurt sprints up the stairs. “Shit, Finn! I need to be in court in half an hour.”

“What?” Finn shouts back. “Why the hell do you need to be in court?”

“Because I’m getting a divorce!” Kurt replies, pulling open the door to his room and flinging his closet doors open as well. As soon as he does he catches sight of himself in his mirror and –

Finn appears in the mirror behind him, eyebrows raised. “How exactly do you plan to get a divorce as Kyle Hudson?”

“Shit, _Finn_ ,” Kurt runs a hand through his hair and turns around, starting to panic. “I need to be there in half an hour, if I’m not there Blaine is going to _kill_ me.”

“You _can’t_ be there,” Finn shoots back. “You’re seventeen, Kurt. Good luck explaining that to the judge.”

Kurt takes a deep breath, trying to calm down. “I just need to postpone the ruling,” he says slowly. “I need to find a way to buy myself some time.”

Finn pulls his phone out again and winces. “You don’t really have a lot of time _now_.”

“You’re right, you’re right,” Kurt breathes in deeply again. “Finn, I need you to drive me to the court house. I’ll think of something on the way there.”

“Okay. Are you sure-”

“ _Finn_ ,” Kurt shouts. “Just… go put on a pair of actual pants,” he gestures to Finn’s pyjama bottoms. “And let’s _go_.”

Finn looks like he wants to argue, but instead nods and hurries off to his own room. Kurt takes in yet another deep breath, trying to remain calm. He grabs his tightest pair of pants, for confidence, and then pulls on his fanciest blazer.

He can do this. He can figure something out.

He can _do_ this.


	19. Underneath

Finn speeds the entire way to the courthouse. Kurt is honestly surprised that they aren’t pulled over.

Regardless, it’s still five past three by the time they arrive at the court house. Kurt has the directions Finn had printed out clutched in one hand, where they’ve been clutched tightly the entire ride. He feels like he needs to do something with his hands, even as they rush out of the car and into the court house. He keeps his hand gripped tightly around that piece of paper, holding onto it like a lifeline.

He still has no idea how he’s going to explain all of this to a judge.

They burst into the court room and Finn shouts, “You can’t handle the truth!”

Everybody stops and stares at them. Kurt wants to punch Finn in the face.

“I’m sorry, I panicked,” Finn says, leaning over slightly, hands on his knees, completely out of breath.

Kurt’s eyes instantly go to Blaine, standing near the front of the room, looking just as surprised and confused as everybody else. He’s wearing his nicest suit, hair gelled impeccably, but there are bags under his eyes that suggest he hasn’t slept any more than Kurt has.

“Who’s this?” the judge asks, waving a hand in Finn and Kurt’s direction.

“That’s my husband’s brother and nephew,” Blaine says, voice slightly breathless. Kurt feels more winded by just seeing him than by the run through the court halls he just did.

“Okay, brother, are you a lawyer or something?”

Finn puts up a finger. “No, I am not. But-”

The judge shakes her head. “Get them out of here.”

“No, wait,” Kurt says as soon as two men in security guard uniforms start to walk toward them. His fingers clench around the piece of paper in his hands, and before he can really think about what he’s saying he holds the paper up and shouts, “I have a letter! I have a letter from Kurt Hummel, the other husband in this case!”

The judge rolls her eyes. “You need to leave,” she says, and the two men start advancing again.

“Your honour,” Blaine says, once again stopping the men. “I’d like to hear the letter, if that’s okay.”

She sighs, but nods. Kurt walks forward until he’s standing close to the front of the room. He glances at Blaine, who is sitting back down, eyes bright and inquisitive.

He takes a deep breath and starts the only way he can think. “Bee.”

He has to stop, not to think but instead to gather himself. His throat is already becoming tight, and he hasn’t even begun.

“Bee,” he starts again. “Do you remember the first time we met?” he glances up at Blaine, briefly, then forces himself to look back at the paper. “I was trying to be sneaky, to spy on you guys for Sectionals. I was probably the worst spy in the world. You caught on right away,” he smiles to himself as he remembers.

“You didn’t do anything about it, though,” he continues, swallowing thickly. “Instead you took me by the hand and promised to be my teenage dream.” He pauses, using every piece of restraint not to look at Blaine again. “I’ve told you before that I fell in love with you that day, and you always laugh and say that that’s not possible. That love at first sight doesn’t exist. I did, though. I fell in love with you the second you turned around on that stairway and told me your name. The hand holding and the serenade… that just made me fall harder.

“When you kissed me for the first time I thought I might die of joy. I had never been happier,” he swallows again, trying to bring moisture to his throat. “Then you told me you loved me and… Blaine, I could have flown away. I knew, in that moment, that I must be the luckiest guy in the world if I had made you love me.”

He’s unable to stop himself from looking up at Blaine this time, and he sees tears shining in Blaine’s eyes. He has to blink back the tears in his own.

“Now, I’m the stupidest man in the world,” he says, eyes going back to the mostly empty page. “Because I forgot, Bee. I forgot how lucky I was to have your love. I got lost in myself, in my own delusions of grandeur, and I forgot that every second spent with you is precious. That every smile you give me, every time you so much as look my way, those are treasures that I was never meant to receive. I forgot how important you are, and how much I love you. Because I love you, Bee. I really, really love you.”

A tear slips down his cheek and he takes in a shuddery breath. “I forgot, and so I lost you. I treated you like you were a nuisance rather than a blessing. Like you were my biggest mistake when really you were, and still are, the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to make up for all the pain I’ve put you through, for all the resentment I’ve aimed your way.

“I understand why you’re doing this, Bee. I’m not trying to ask you to reconsider. I’ve made my bed, and now I have to lay in it,” he looks up at Blaine, two more tears falling from his eyes. “I just needed you to know, before this is done, how sorry I am. For everything. For forgetting. For… for not being able to be there to tell you these things in person. For treating you like you’re nothing when you’re everything.”

He lowers the page and stares directly at Blaine. Blaine stares back, lips parted and tears flowing freely from his eyes.

“Okay,” the judge says, softly. “Thank you for that. You really need to leave now.”

Kurt nods, though he doesn’t take his eyes of Blaine. Gently, he places the paper with the directions on it on the empty pew next to him, then turns around.

He’s almost at the exit when he hears, “Your honour, would it be alright if we just postponed this trial? Just… just for a little bit?”

He almost falls over in relief as the judge says, “Fine. Postponed thirty days.”

He turns around one final time before he leaves, just in time to see Blaine standing where he was moments ago, holding the piece of paper he left behind.

Blaine looks over at him and their eyes meet. Kurt holds his gaze for a mere second before he turns around and leaves the court room.

Finn pats him on the back and asks, “Why do you look so sad, bro? You got what you wanted. You got your time. You showed him that you’ve changed, or whatever. That underneath that asshole exterior you really love him.”

Kurt shakes his head. “It wasn’t enough,” he whispers. “It’s… it’s never going to be enough. The way I’ve treated Blaine, the things I’ve said to him… he should never take me back.”

“Kurt, dude…”

Kurt shrugs. “You know it’s true,” he says. “All I really did today was postpone the inevitable another thirty days. This… you were right, Finn. It’s over. I fucked everything up and now I have to deal with the consequences of that.”

Finn doesn’t reply as they head to the car. He only speaks once he’s in the driver’s seat and Kurt is sitting next to him.

“It’s not over,” he says. “You still have till Sectionals.”

Kurt turns to him and raises an eyebrow. He doesn’t know how to reply, honestly doesn’t even want to. Instead he just shakes his head and slumps into his seat.

Finn sighs and starts the car. Kurt turns to the window and stares out blankly.

Finn says it’s not over, but it is. Kurt knows it is.

It’s been over since the beginning.


	20. Wish

Kurt spends his first period on Monday transferring out of Blaine’s English class. He may not be at this school for much longer, but he simply can’t stand the thought of having to see Blaine every day, constantly being reminded of his failures as a husband and as a father. He just can’t do it.

He spends the rest of the day sitting in the back row in all of his classes, head buried between his arms on his desk. He eats his lunch in the hallway by his locker, not wanting to face Mason and Madison, and he tells his last period teacher that he has a doctor’s appointment immediately after school and that he needs to leave fifteen minutes early.

He spends his evening curled up in bed, staring at his phone (not Kyle’s phone, _his_ phone), looking through all the pictures, reading his old texts with Blaine. He refuses to open the texts that Madison sent him about Invitationals. He doesn’t think he can bear it.

**

Glee club the next day is torture. Kurt tries to talk to Mason and Madison, just to apologize if nothing else, but they want nothing to do with him. Madison sits next to Roderick, and Kurt feels the first hint of happiness in a few days when he sees him take her hand. That happiness dies seconds later, when Madison sends a deathly glare in his direction.

He doesn’t speak up during rehearsal, not even when Mr. Schuester begins talking about their set list for sectionals. He wants the solo to be a ballad, some Adele song that came out a couple of years ago. He plays it once for the class and Kurt has to struggle not to burst into tears. The sorrow and regret present in the song is typical for Adele, but this feels like it’s specifically directed at him.

He tries to leave as soon as Glee club ends, but Mr. Schuester holds him, Madison, and Roderick back. He tells them that they did such an amazing job at Invitationals that he wants the exact same line up for Sectionals. He thinks they can win.

Madison and Roderick immediately agree, and Mr. Schuester tells them that he will be emailing them his song ideas.

Kurt asks Mr. Schuester if he can have the rest of the day to think about it. Mr. Schuester seems surprised, but he agrees. Kurt thanks him and leaves, prepared to spend yet another evening wrapped in his duvet and staring at his phone.

He goes on Facebook this time, looking through all the videos Blaine’s posted throughout the years.

It doesn’t take long for him to find his favorite. Blaine is on screen with a six year old Madison, dancing like a madman to his old Maroon 5 CD. Kurt is laughing behind the camera and keeps saying, “Doesn’t your Papa have the worst taste in music Maddie?” Blaine sends him the occasional playful scowl, and Madison just giggles and keeps dancing.

Like the sucker for punishment that he is, Kurt instantly goes to the iTunes store on his phone and downloads the Maroon 5 album that was playing in the background of the video. All it takes are the first seconds of One More Night for him to burst into tears.

He listens to the album over and over again, crying harder and harder each time. Blaine _loved_ this album. He loved it so much, and Kurt always made fun of him for it. He still doesn’t really understand what about it Blaine loved so much, but he did, he loved it and Kurt doesn’t understand why he couldn’t have just been more supportive. Why he couldn’t have let Blaine play this album over their family dinners every now and then, even if none of the rest of them liked it. Blaine never complained when Kurt played Wicked over and over again, so why couldn’t have Kurt…

[A song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XB77xNl7Kyc) comes on, slower than the rest, and Kurt listens. This song has played at least five times by now, but he’s never really listened to the lyrics. This time he does.

The second the song ends he picks up Kyle’s phone and texts Mr. Schuester, asking him how attached he is to the Adele. He includes a link to what he wants to sing, and tells him that he will only accept the solo if he gets to sing _this_ song.

He receives a response within minutes.

He has the solo.

**

Kurt feels like he’s sleepwalking through the next few weeks. He gets up, gets dressed, daydreams his way through all his classes, and then channels the small amounts of energy he has into practicing his solo for Sectionals.

Every now and then Mason or Madison will give him a look, one he can’t really discern, but whenever he catches them doing it they instantly look away and their faces fall into scowls. Kurt really wants to talk to them, to apologize, but they still won’t give him the time of day.

He understands. In their mind, he’s just a creep who hit on their dad.

He just wishes they would let him explain. Or even just apologize.

They don’t though. And the worst part is, he can’t even blame them.

**

Sectionals comes too soon. Kurt feels like it was only yesterday, not two weeks ago, that he was standing in that courtroom with Blaine. That he was kissing Blaine on the balcony and messing everything up.

As he’s getting ready that morning his phone buzzes. His phone, not Kyle’s.

It’s a text from Madison.

_I know you couldn’t make it to Invitationals, but I’m singing again at Sectionals. It’s kind of a big deal. It’s at the school at 6:30pm._

If he had gotten this text a month ago he would have scoffed. He would have assumed Blaine made her send it, or that she did it just to cover her own ass so he could come off as the bad guy if he didn’t show up.

Now, he sees it for what it is. He can tell that she really wants him there, but that she doesn’t want to let it show. Because if she actually admits to herself that she wants him to come, then she’s admitting that she cares. And with a father like Kurt, she can’t really afford to care.

He chews on his bottom lip. He doesn’t want to text her back and tell her he’ll be there. How can he? He’s going to be on stage. He doesn’t even want to tell her that he’ll try.

He doesn’t text back instead, and grabs his Sectionals outfit from his closet. He’s got a lot of rehearsing to do.

**

Six o’clock rolls around and Kurt couldn’t be feeling worse. His kids still won’t look at him, and he can’t stop thinking about that text Madison sent him this morning. He hates knowing that he’s going to disappoint her again. He _hates_ it.

“Kyle!” Mr. Schuester calls to him, waving him over. Kurt jogs in his direction, desperate to get away from the suffocating environment around the other students.

“So,” Mr. Schuester says as soon as he’s close enough. “I’m probably not supposed to tell you this, but there’s a couple of senior’s from the other schools that are auditioning for this huge performing arts school in New York, NYADA.”

Kurt’s eyes widen and his heart rate speeds up.

“I don’t know what you’re planning for college, but if you impress these guys…” he shrugs and winks at Kyle as he starts to walk away. “I think NYADA would love a talented kid like you.”

Kurt watches as his teacher walks off to talk to some other students. He swallows thickly as he watches him go.

New York. NYADA. He could still do this. He could…

“Hey.”

Kurt turns around and sees Blaine standing behind him. Blaine looks cautious, his jacket draped over his arm.

“Hey,” Kurt replies, softly.

Blaine bites his bottom lip. “Do you, uh. Do you know where Mason and Madison are?” he doesn’t look away from Kurt. “I want to wish them good luck before the competition. I can’t take too long though, my date,” he gestures vaguely behind him, and Kurt glances over to see Sebastian Smythe standing by the side entrance to backstage, doing something on his phone. He looks like he would love to be anywhere else.

Kurt nods. “Yeah. They’re over there,” he points to the last place he saw them, and Blaine nods as well.

“Thanks.”

They continue to stand in silence, Blaine making no move to go to their children.

“Listen,” Blaine says quietly. “About that letter…”

“It’s okay,” Kurt replies quickly. “I told Uncle Kurt not to bother you anymore. He knows…” he glances back to Sebastian. “He knows it’s over. He won’t send you anything like that again.”

“Oh,” Blaine says. “Right. Of course. That’s… okay.” He takes a deep breath. “I guess, um. Break a leg up there.”

Kurt smiles, but it doesn’t feel genuine at all. “Thanks.”

Blaine continues to stand in front of him for a few seconds, then he sidesteps him to go find his kids.

Before he’s fully out of ear shot, Kurt finds himself whispering. “I’m so sorry, Bee.”

Instantly Blaine freezes. He turns around and stares at Kurt with wide eyes.

“What did you just say?”

Kurt steels himself, and repeats. “I’m sorry, Bee. For… for everything.”

Blaine raises a hand to his mouth at the same time that Mr. Schuester claps his hands together and asks everybody to gather around. Kurt doesn’t move though, and Blaine whispers, “Oh my god.”

“Kyle?” Mr. Schuester shouts. “Come on, we’re doing a show circle.”

Kurt continues to stare at Blaine, who just says, “Oh my god,” again and rushes past him.

He turns to watch Blaine go, sees Sebastian stop him in the doorway and ask, “Hey, Blaine, what’s wrong?”

Blaine turns to look at Kurt again, then says to Sebastian, “I can’t be here again.”

He disappears, and Sebastian doesn’t move. Instead he shrugs and pulls his phone out again. Kurt wants to punch him in the face.

“Yo, moron,” Mason slaps him on the back of the head. “We need you in show circle.”

Kurt takes a deep breath and turns to him. “You know the song, right?”

Mason frowns. “What?”

“My solo. You know it. Your Papa used to play it to you when your Dad wasn’t around, right?”

Mason’s frown turns into shocked confusion. “How the hell did you-?”

“Sing it.” Kurt puts his hands on Mason’s shoulders. “Mason, you have to sing my solo. I know you can do it, I know you’ll sound amazing. Jane will love it, Kitty will love it, the audience will love it. You have to… You have to sing my solo.”

Mason’s eyebrows shoot up. “What the fuck? We’re going on stage in ten minutes, what are you-”

“I already had my shot,” Kurt insists. “It’s your turn now. Please, sing my solo?”

Mason still looks incredibly confused, but he nods. “Yeah, okay. I’ll just tell Mr. Schuester-”

Kurt doesn’t wait to hear anymore.

He turns on his heel, and runs after his husband.


	21. Yesterday

Kurt runs down the hallway in his search for Blaine, but it’s like his husband has completely vanished.

“Blaine!” he shouts, looking around frantically. “Bee!”

He turns around quickly, wondering if maybe he ran past him. There’s nobody behind him, though, or in front of him.

He spins around again, just in case.

“Blaine!” he shouts again, sprinting forward a little bit more.

He’s gone. Blaine’s gone. He’s too late.

Kurt runs his hands through his hair, fighting to stop tears from falling.

It didn’t matter. It still didn’t matter. Blaine is still gone.

He leans over, suddenly feeling winded from the short run. He breathes in and out deeply, tears pooling in his eyes. His stands up straight again, hand covering his mouth as he tries not to let out a deep sob.

“It is you.”

Kurt turns around quickly and sees Blaine stepping out from the corner. He’s staring at Kurt with wide eyes, lips slightly parted. Kurt takes a step toward him, extends a hand, and then pauses.

There’s wrinkles on his hand. Not many, barely noticeable, but to him they’re stark. Those weren’t there yesterday. Those weren’t there this morning. Those haven’t been there for at least a month.

He brings his hand up to his face, then looks at Blaine who is still standing still in the middle of the hallway. In the distance Kurt can hear music starting. The first group must be starting their performance.

“Bee,” Kurt whispers, taking another step forward. Blaine takes one as well.

“I wondered,” Blaine says. “Since you first walked into my class. You looked… you looked like you.”

“I – I can explain,” Kurt tries.

Blaine’s eyebrows shoot up. “You can?”

He thinks about it for a second, then shakes his head. “Actually I can’t. I can’t explain it at all.”

They take another step toward each other, now only a couple of feet apart.

“Blaine, I’m so sorry,” Kurt says. “I don’t know what else to tell you. I’ve been so selfish, so _stupid_. I’ve treated you terribly, I’ve treated the twins terribly. I’ve been a bad father and husband and you’re right to leave me, I don’t blame you at all.”

Blaine swallows thickly. “You could have done it all again,” he whispers. “The solo, New York… You could have had everything you’ve ever wanted.”

Kurt shakes his head. “I don’t want that. I haven’t wanted that for a long time, I’ve just been too wrapped up in myself to see it.”

“Are you sure?” Blaine asks. “I don’t want this to be like last time. I…” he shakes his head. “I never should have told you like that. I should have waited until you’d sung your song, I should have just kept my mouth shut. And now you just gave up your dream _again_ , and for-”

“For _me_ ,” Kurt reaches out and takes Blaine’s hands, squeezing them tight. “I did this for _me_. I… I had a chance at it all, Blaine. The solo, NYADA, Broadway… I could have had it all.” He smiles at Blaine, who has tears in his eyes as well. “But it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. Not when I knew I’d lose you and the twins if I did.”

“But, your dream,” Blaine looks back in the direction of the auditorium. “Your future.”

“My future?” Kurt laughs. “Look at me, Blaine! I’m living my future. I was just living it like I was still in the past.” He shakes his head and squeezes Blaine’s hands again. “You are my future Blaine. You and the kids. New York, Broadway,” he rolls his eyes. “Those will always be there. You guys may not be.”

“This is all so fast,” Blaine says. “This is… Kurt, I feel like we’re back at Nationals. You made that decision so fast, and you regretted it so much. I don’t want you to regret it again. I don’t want to get five more good years only to fall back into an old pattern. I can’t… I can’t be your biggest regret again, Kurt, I just can’t.”

“I know,” Kurt says, eyes wide in their attempt to show Blaine his sincerity. “You’re _not_ my biggest regret though, Blaine. You never were, I just _forgot_. You’re one of, if not _the_ best thing that ever happened to me. You and the kids. This family, everything we’ve built… I’ve just been stupid not to see it.”

“But how do you know-”

“Because I want to deal with it,” Kurt says, pulling Blaine closer. “I want… I want to go to couple’s counselling. I want to do family therapy sessions. I want to fix this, Blaine. All of it. I…” he takes a deep breath. “I want to spend the rest of my life making the last twenty years up to you.”

Blaine laughs through his tears. “Are you proposing?” he asks playfully.

Kurt shrugs, but smiles. “Well, you got to do it the first time.”

Blaine smiles as well. “Yes,” he says, hands going to Kurt’s face. “If you’re sure-”

“I’ve never been surer of anything,” Kurt says, pulling Blaine in and kissing him square on the lips.

Blaine’s hands go from Kurt’s face to wrap around his neck, pulling him even closer. Kurt’s arms hold Blaine tight against his body as they kiss, and it feels like coming home.

There’s applause from the auditorium as they separate, leaning their foreheads together.

“I love you, Bee,” Kurt says. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” Blaine replies, pressing a short, soft kiss to Kurt’s lips.

“And I promise,” Kurt says. “I promise I’m going to remind you of that for the rest of your life. I’m not going to let you forget how much I love you, and I’m not going to let myself forget either.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Blaine replies, eyes shining. Kurt hugs him close, Blaine’s face tucking into the crook of Kurt’s neck. He fits just as perfectly as he always has. Maybe even more perfectly than before.

“I’m never saying goodbye to you,” Kurt whispers, and Blaine moves his head to the side so that he can peck Kurt on the cheek.

From the auditorium, Kurt hears the words, “New Directions” and he pulls apart from Blaine, smiling.

“Let’s go back,” he says, tugging Blaine forward.

Blaine chuckles. “You know you can’t actually sing your solo anymore, right? You’re kind of forty again.”

Kurt scoffs. “I’m thirty-eight, thank you very much. But actually I wanted to watch our children absolutely destroy the competition.”

Blaine stops Kurt, forcing him to turn and look in his eyes. “Are you… will you be able to do that? I know in the past-”

Kurt cups Blaine’s face in his hands and pulls him in for yet another kiss. He smiles when they separate and whispers. “Let’s go watch our kids kick ass.”

**

Mason and Madison kick ass. Mason is incredible as he belts out Maroon 5, and Madison and Roderick sound just as lovely, if not lovelier, than they did at Invitationals. Kurt feels his heart soar as he watches his children, his husband beside him holding his hand.

Kurt wonders for the first time if Blaine taped any of Mason and Madison’s other performances. He’d really like to see them.

They finish and he and Blaine stand to applaud along with everybody else in the audience. Kurt feels so much pride as he watches his children take center stage as they bow. He claps louder.

“Come on,” Blaine whispers, taking Kurt’s hand again. “Let’s go congratulate them.”

“I don’t know if they’d want me to,” Kurt admits as they walk.

“Trust me,” Blaine says. “They’ll want you to.”

Backstage is chaos. The third group is getting ready to perform while New Directions and the other show choir are bouncing around, everybody babbling excitedly, obviously high off the performance. And Kurt…

Kurt isn’t jealous at all.

Instead, he’s happy. He’s got his husband’s hand in his, and his kids are jumping up and down together, hands clasped in excitement.

“Mason, Madison!” Blaine shouts, and the kids turn to look at them, grinning widely.

The grins fall off their faces when their eyes fall on Kurt.

“Dad?” Mason asks, starting to walk toward them.

“Hey,” Kurt says, voice quiet with nerves. The twins stop a couple of feet away from them, the expressions on their faces unreadable. “You guys were amazing.”

“You saw us?” Madison asks, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

“I thought you were in Jamaica,” Mason says, looking skeptical as well.

“I – Yeah, Jamaica,” Kurt shares a worried glance with Blaine. “I left,” he turns to Madison and gives her a small smile. “I got your text, from yesterday. Or this morning, I’m not sure...” he shakes his head. That doesn’t matter. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come to Invitationals. I heard you were amazing.”

“She was,” Mason says defensively.

“She _is_ ,” Kurt corrects. “Madison, your voice…” he smiles, then looks to his son. “And Mason. I didn’t… I didn’t realize you were singing a solo. You were incredible.”

“Yeah, well, it was kind of last minute,” Mason says. “Our soloist sort of ditched us.”

Kurt blushes and Blaine bites on his bottom lip to stop from smiling.

“I know you guys have to stick around until the winner is announced, but would you guys like to go out after? Get some dinner? We can go to Olive Garden.”

Mason and Madison exchange skeptical looks. “Actually, Papa was going to take us out, I think,” Mason says.

Blaine squeezes Kurt’s hand tightly. “Why don’t the four of us go out? Your dad’s treat.”

“The four of us?” Madison asks, one eyebrow raised high. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? You know, with the divorce and all.”

Kurt smiles down at Blaine, who says. “We’re… kind of rethinking the divorce.”

Mason and Madison exchange another look. “So?” Kurt asks. “What do you guys say? Family dinner out to celebrate your win?”

“We haven’t won yet,” Mason says, though he doesn’t sound as harsh as before.

“You will,” Kurt insists.

Madison nods. “Yeah, okay. If you’re paying.”

“Great,” Kurt says, smiling at them. “We’ll see you in a bit, okay?” He pauses to look at them again and his smile softens. “You really were incredible. I’m… I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to realize that.”

He doesn’t wait for them to reply, turning around and pulling Blaine with him. Blaine squeezes his hand tightly in support.

“Are you okay?” Blaine asks when they’re back in their seats, the final group just finishing up. Kurt nods, and Blaine says, “I’m sorry they’re like that. You know they-”

“They have every right to be like that,” Kurt says quietly. “I’m going to have to prove to them that I want a relationship with them. That I care about them. I’m going to have to prove it to all of you,” he gives Blaine a significant look. “And I’m going to. I promise. I’m going to be the best damn dad and husband in Ohio.” He smiles at Blaine and clarifies, “Well, second best.”

“Sweet talker,” Blaine teases and Kurt shrugs coyly. “Are you sure it’s okay? I can talk to the kids, tell them to go easy on you.”

Kurt shakes his head. “It’s a start,” he says firmly.

The audience claps as the show choir on stage finishes, and Kurt claps along with them.

Yes, it’s a start. And for the first time since this entire ordeal started he actually, truly, feels like he has hope.


	22. Vow - Epilogue

Kurt is adjusting his tie when there’s a knock on the door. He turns and says, “Come in!” smiling when his husband walks through the door, one hand covering his eyes.

“Hey,” Blaine says, not removing the hand over his eyes. “Are you ready? Madison said most of the guests are here.”

Kurt chuckles and walks over to Blaine, taking the hand covering his eyes and lowering it. Behind the hand Blaine’s eyes are clenched shut.

“Bee, you don’t have to do that,” Kurt says, smiling at how adorable Blaine looks, entire face scrunched up in the effort to keep his eyes closed.

“It’s tradition!” Blaine says, pouting.

“This isn’t technically our wedding,” Kurt reminds him. “That was many years ago.”

“It’s our second wedding,” Blaine protests.

“We’re renewing our vows,” Kurt says softly. “The fact that we’re doing this at all shows that we have all the luck we need. Come on, honey, open your eyes.”

Blaine does so, though only a little, eyes narrowed at Kurt. “Please don’t call me honey.”

Kurt grins. “Why not? You’re my little Honey Bee after all.”

Blaine groans. “Guess what? You just lost your Bee privileges. From now on it’s Blaine or nothing.”

Kurt can’t stop grinning. “Dearly beloved,” he continues teasing. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the renewing of the vows of Kurt Anderson-Hummel and Nothing Anderson-Hummel-”

“Stop,” Blaine groans again, stepping close to Kurt and burying his face in Kurt’s neck. “I take it back. I want a divorce again.”

Months ago those words would have sent Kurt into a nervous tail spin. Today, he recognizes it for the joke it is.

“Do you?” Kurt asks, arms wrapping loosely around Blaine’s waist. “Because I already paid the caterers and they said it’s non-refundable.”

Blaine laughs against his neck. “Oh, in that case…”

He presses a kiss to Kurt’s neck, then nuzzles the skin softly.

“Thank you,” Kurt whispers, holding him closer.

“For what?” Blaine asks, face still buried in Kurt’s neck.

Kurt presses a kiss to his temple. “For giving me a second chance,” he says quietly. “For going to all those family therapy sessions with me and the twins. For going to couples counselling. For forgiving me when I would mess up again, fall into old habits. For calling me out on my shit when I did. For giving me a third, fourth, fifth chance. For not giving up on me or on us.”

“I love you,” Blaine whispers back. “I love you so much, Kurt. I honestly can’t imagine my life without you. I don’t know what possessed me to kick you out.”

“I don’t know what possessed you not to kick me out sooner,” Kurt says, then smirks. “I also don’t know what possessed you to go on not one, not two, but _five_ dates with Sebastian Smythe.”

“Oh my god, stop, you’re ruining the moment,” Blaine groans and Kurt can feel his cheeks heat up against Kurt’s neck. He grins and holds Blaine closer.

“I love you too, you know,” Kurt says. Blaine pulls back slightly, just enough so that he can look into Kurt’s eyes.

“I know.”

Kurt doesn’t think he’s ever been happier.

**

The ceremony is short, simple, and sweet. They walk down the aisle, they cry when they reach the front, they recite their vows, they kiss.

It’s surprisingly similar to their actual wedding, but also different. Their kids stand up with them, for one; Madison with Kurt and Mason with Blaine. They had only just adopted the twins when they first got married, and they played the adorable roles of flower girl and ring bearer back then. Kurt thinks he likes it better this way.

The ceremony is at Finn’s house, seeing as he has the largest back yard. It’s nice and sunny, but thankfully not too warm (a genuine concern they had, what with it being August). Nobody seems uncomfortable, and Kurt is too busy being excited to notice how sweaty his suit becomes.

After the ceremony they all head into Finn’s house for a small reception. Only their closest friends, really. Well, mainly Blaine’s closest friends, plus Finn and Rachel, who Kurt invited, and Kurt’s dad and Carole. It’s nice. Not too crowded. Simple and sweet and wonderful.

As soon as they’re in the living room Rachel steals them away, jabbering on and on about how excited she is that Kurt is taking over the New Directions now that Mr. Schuester is retired. Kurt can barely keep up with what she’s saying, and finds the stark contrast between the excitable woman before him and the serious, no nonsense principal of McKinley incredibly entertaining. She’s thrilled that Kurt will be joining the McKinley team, and quite frankly Kurt is very excited too. For the first time in years, possibly ever, he’s actually excited to go to work. He’s been working on lesson plans all summer, and already has multiple set lists prepared for Invitationals and Sectionals. He can’t wait to see the kids come alive in the choir room in the same way he always did.

Finn clinks his glass with a fork, drawing them out of their conversation. Once everyone is silent, he thanks them all for coming, then asks everybody to direct their attention to the wall at the end of his living room, where he has set up a projection sheet. Apparently he’s created a video montage of Kurt and Blaine’s relationship without either of their prior knowledge.

It’s sweet though, so Kurt cuddles up with Blaine on one of the couches and relaxes as Teenage Dream starts to play through the speakers.

It’s chronological, it seems, with pictures from when Kurt and Blaine were children leading up until when they met.

Blaine coos into Kurt’s ear at every picture of Kurt as a child, and Kurt does the same with Blaine. Blaine squeezes him closer when the first picture ever taken of them together, far before they were even dating, appears on the screen. It was Kurt’s first day at Dalton, and Blaine has his arm slung around Kurt and is giving the camera a big thumbs up, while Kurt stares at him as though he has hearts in his eyes.

It isn’t until a picture taken when Blaine first transferred to McKinley their senior year of high school shows up on screen that Madison shoots up from her position on the couch and shouts, “Holy shit!”

Kurt’s eyes widen and Blaine sits up a little, frowning. “Madison? Is something wrong?”

She stares at Kurt, jaw practically on the floor as the video continues to play in the background.

“It was you,” she says, walking over to where Kurt and Blaine are sitting and kneeling next to them, as if that will draw attention away from herself. “I thought I heard Uncle Finn call you Kurt at the party, but I thought I was going crazy. But those pictures, you look… It _was_ you, wasn’t it?”

Kurt purses his lips together to stop from smiling. “Who was me?” he asks, and Blaine elbows him.

“Kyle,” she says. “You… you were Kyle, weren’t you? How – how did you even – and at Sectionals, he left and you came and-”

Kurt smiles at her. “Why don’t we talk about this later? When we’re at our own house?”

“But it was, wasn’t it?” she asks, quieter this time. “It was you, right? I’m not… I’m not going crazy. Because the way you look in those pictures…” she gestures to the screen, which is showing a picture of Kurt and Blaine at their senior prom.

Kurt opens his mouth to tell her once again that they can talk later when Mason shoots up just like Madison had and shouts, “Holy shit!”

Blaine covers his eyes with his hands. “I told you we should have told them,” he mumbles to Kurt as Mason hurries over as well with a murmured, “It was _you_.”

Kurt smiles at his husband, then at his children. “Come on,” he says, scooting over so that he’s practically on Blaine’s lap. It opens up enough space on the couch for the twins to fit and they hesitantly do. They watch the video in silence for a few moments. Then Kurt winks at Blaine, leans forward, and whispers right between Mason and Madison’s ears, “Yes. It _was_ me.”

“How-”

“But you-”

Kurt puts his finger up to his lips and gestures to the video still playing. “Your Uncle put a lot of work into this,” he says, sending them a wink. They stare at him for a few more seconds, then turn back to the video, quietly whispering amongst themselves.

Kurt leans back against Blaine’s chest and Blaine kisses the back of his neck. “Couldn’t have found a better time to tell our children that you were their friend who kissed me, huh?”

“What can I say?” Kurt teases. “Bad timing must run in the family.”

Blaine pinches his side and Kurt giggles, happy Blaine accepted his joke. He looks up at the screen and sees a picture of them on their actual wedding day, Mason in Kurt’s arms and Madison holding onto Blaine’s pant leg. He smiles and settles back against Blaine.

Things are good. Things are finally good.

 

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> art featured in this chapter by the amazing [ justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]()

**Author's Note:**

> [masterpost on tumblr](http://klaineanummel.tumblr.com/post/136364703515/masterpost-still-looking-at-the-road-we-never)


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